


The Air We're Breathing

by etcetera_etc



Category: Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:35:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 39,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24253723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etcetera_etc/pseuds/etcetera_etc
Summary: After having killed Hierro and being treated as a main suspect regarding the death of Sandoval, Zulema, along with Saray, Maca and Rizos, will be transferred to a prison of high security. But on a bus transport a lot of things can happen… especially when the bus contains four dangerous prisoners who have nothing to lose and everything to gain – including their freedom.Set after the prison riot in the Season 4 finale.
Relationships: Zulema Zahir/Macarena Ferreiro
Comments: 518
Kudos: 406





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanficton in English which is not my native tounge so small mistakes may occur.  
> I have just finished watching Season 4 and have not seen El Oasis yet so this may not be completely canon compliant.

Zulema had known that there would be consequences. She was no fool. She had killed Hierro. They thought she had killed Sandoval. Of course they would assume that, even though she didn’t do it, but it wouldn’t be worth it trying to deny that she killed him; it wouldn’t change anything.

They had beat her like a dog when they had stormed the patio. Having heard from the tied up guards that it was her who was responsible for the death of Hierro, the policemen had grabbed her first. Two of them had yanked her up and when she automatically tried to free herself, a third one had hit her ruthlessly with his truncheon. The blows had hit her right into the abdomen and after three or four of them her body had gone slack, the terror, both mentally and phisically, of the last 12 hours taking it‘s toll on her. Then she had thrown up, twice, right where she was standing, and it was only when she had tried to straighten herself again, that she noticed the others. Saray, Macarena and even Rizos had left their places at the front of the group and were now being held by policemen right in front of Zulema. And all of them had been looking at her. She didn’t have time to define each of their expressions – and she still tried to tell herself that it really didn’t matter to her – but she thought that they all had been wearing a look of… support? She couldn’t be sure of that, though, it had all happened so fast; suddenly, a blow directed at her head had made her double over and after feeling herself slowly loosing the grasp on reality, she had let the lingering darkness take over her sight.

The next thing she remembered is finding her hands and feet tied to a chair that was fixed to a wall behind her. The chains that restricted her were so tight that she found herself almost completely unable to move so she had settled for waitng because she really coulnd’t do anything else. That was some hours ago, maybe one or two. Now she was still sitting in that chair, obvoiusly, but she was no longer alone in the solitary cell.

Inspector Castillo had come in a few minutes ago and had taken a seat opposed to Zulema‘s chair. Then the door had been closed again and they were alone. Since then they had just looked at each other. It was only now that Castillo started to speak.

"Ay, Zulema", he said and shook his head. "I must tell you, I wasn’t surprised when I heard that it was you who started this riot." He looked at her like he expected her to say something but he she saw no reason in having a chat with Castillo so she stayed silent. He continued nevertheless. "What did surprise me is that you killed Hierro. I mean, none of this was really his fault, you know? He was quite a nice guy. A shame, really." Zulema clenched her jaw. This time she couldn't hold her tounge.

"He should have tried to stop it", she said. They both knew what she was referring to. Not the riot, obviously, nobody would have been able to stop that. But the things that had led up to it could and _should_ have been prevented.

"He wouldn’t have succeeded", said Castillo.

"I know. But I thought he… he should have tried." Damn, she really needed to pull herself together. Castillo studied her face for a moment, then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs.

"You liked him, didn’t you?" Zulema’s body shot forward and she instantly cursed herself for that reaction; her stomach felt uncomfortably tender with every movement she made and the chains dug painfully into her skin.

"No!", she snapped. Castillo didn’t even blink.

"But you didn’t want to kill him."

Zulema took a breath and slowly leaned back in her chair again. "What does it matter. I did kill him. Nobody cares if I wanted it or not. I did it."

"Yes, you did. And Sandoval?"

Zulema just shrugged her shoulders. "Can’t deny that he deserved it", she said.

"But did you do it?"

Oh, couldn't he just shut up? "Let’s put it that way: I gave him the final push."

Castillo sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Alright. Well, I guess it won’t be any surprise for you but you won’t be staying at this prison. Killing the director, or whatever role you played in his death, kind of disqualifies you for that." Zulema watched him as he slowly rose from his chair. He was right, she had expected that she wouldn’t stay in Cruz del Norte. And at this point she didn’t even care about it.

"You will be transferred tomorrow, to a high security prison. And please, try not to corrupt the guard driving you this time. That really brought us all a lot of trouble."

"What trouble did it bring you?“, Zulema asked, raising her brows. "Did _your_ daughter die?" Castillo’s eyes softened and she wanted nothing more than claw them out of his face. She hated that expression. Pity. His words accompaniying it only made it worse.

"I’m sorry about that, I truly am." She didn’t say anything to that. Castillo turned around and slowly moved towards the door. The hand already on the handle, he turned around one more time.

"Ferreiro, Kabila and Vargas will be transferred with you." That, however, did surprise her.

"Why?" Castillo pressed the handle down and shot her one last glance.

"They all testified having murdered Sandoval." Then he was gone. Zulema didn’t notice that she was laughing until the sound of her laughter echoed in the small cell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Should I continue?  
> Let me know your opinions in the comments!


	2. Chapter 2

"Zule? Zulema?"

Zulema let her head fall against the wall behind her and closed her eyes. Through the ventilator, that was right next to her chair, she could hear the voice of Saray who must be in the solitary cell next to her's. But Zulema didn't want to answer her. It had to be very late at night, maybe even early in the morning and she needed to think before the next day arose – because then, it would be too late to think.

"Zulema? Damn it, Zulema, answer me, I know you're there."

"Can't you just shut the fuck up, Saray?" Anger dripped through her voice and for a moment she thought showing her former cellmate and… friend, if you wanted to put it that way, that she wasn't in the mood for talking had been enough to actually silence her but she should have known better.

"No", came the pointed answer. Zulema took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down, even though she very much would have liked screaming until the guards came to take her, or Saray, for that matter, to another cell. But eventually, that wouldn't have helped her trying to center her thoughts either so she settled on controlling her temper. In hindsight, she often figured that many situations could have been prevented from escalating if only she hadn't let her temper take over her mind, so this time she would not loose control. She would not let her temper ruin her presumably last chance at freedom. So she kept calm.

"We will be transferred in the evening", said Saray. "With a bus. The ride will take about 3 hours." Zulema slightly adjusted her position in the chair. Now, _that_ was interesting.

"How do you know?"

Saray laughed. "Palacios came to ask me where the documents regarding my daughter's foster parents were so I used the opportunity to get some information out of him." Zulema smirked. She could hear in Saray's voice that she was feeling slightly proud of herself for having had the mindset to get this particular information. And if the situation between her and Saray wasn't that tense, Zulema would have told her that this had indeed been a smart move.

"You have a plan, don't you?"

The smirk vanished from her face and was replaced by a frown. Zulema bit her tounge. She hated being able to know exactly what Saray's tone of voice meant, hated that she knew that damn woman well enough to actually fucking care about that tone. That tone of hope. Saray hoped that she had a plan, she hoped that she would, once again, free them. But she wouldn't. Not this time. Not them. This time it would be only her.

"No." The word tasted bitter on her tounge but she tried her best to ignore it.

"Stop kidding me. There won't be any opportunity better than this one. A bus ride, a long bus ride and guards from this shithole of a prison. It will be easy, Zulema."

"Why don't you make a plan then?", she asked. "If it's so easy?" She heard a shuffling noise on the other side of the wall; Saray must have tried to move her chair in order to get closer to the ventilator.

"Because you are the fucking mastermind."

Zulema snorted. "You didn't think I was a mastermind the last time we were on the run."

"No, because you tried to kill me."

"Right. And you know that a situation like that one may occur again so stop asking me about a plan and just… shut up." There was a short silence on the other side but luck did not seem to be with Zulema today. Well, when was it ever, though?

"You have a plan", said Saray slowly. "You _do_ have a plan, you just don't want to tell me, right? You want to free yourself but not us. _Us_ , who had their asses kicked because of _you_."

Zulema swallowed and clenched her jaw. Of couse Saray would know that she was thinking of something. She just knew her too well and Zulema scolded herself, not for the first time, that she had let the other woman get that close to her.

"Nobody asked you to stab Sandoval until he looked like death himself", she said, careful to keep her voice void of any emotion.

"No, but did it ever cross your mind that we could have said that it was you? That we could have let the police do whatever they wanted to do with you and spent the rest of our sentences here, maybe even having mitigating circumstances shorten our sentence because we helped the police getting what they want, which is _you_?"

Zulema felt her breath fasten with each word Saray seemed to spit at her through the ventilator because of course this had crossed her mind. And it was still inexplicable to her why the three of them, Saray, Maca and Rizos had done that, had taken the guilt upon themselves even though she would have been the perfect scapegoat.

"Then why, Saray", she said, her mouth dry. "Why the hell didn't you do it?"

There was a bang to be heard, followed by a muffled groan. The wall between them vibrated.

"Because I was stupid enough to think that, in some strange way, we would still be family, Zulema. Because I had that stupid, _stupid_ intention of helping you, because in the end, you helped me offering my daughter a better life and I failed helping you offer your daughter a life at all. Rizos agreed, because I help her and she helps me, that's how relationships work, Zule. And Macarena, well… Macarena is just Macarena. But right now, I get this feeling that we were all wrong. We were all stupid and fucking naive."

There was a lump in Zulema's throat but _no_ , there was no room for emotions in this whole scenario. There had been to many emotions involved already and every single time those emotions had fucked up everything. So she did her best trying to not let her voice waver when she spoke.

"Yes, you were", she said. "You were all stupid and fucking naive."

Another bang, another vibration going of from the wall, then a shouted "Fuck!". Zulema waited but this time Saray truly stayed silent. Which did not make it easier trying to concentrate on a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a little bit more dialogue in this one - did you like it?  
> Keep commenting your opinions.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments, I really appreciate them!

It took many more hours indeed until the heavy door of the of Zulema's cell was opened again. She was just sort of resting a bit, trying to let both her body and her mind relax before the real fun would start, when she heard the bars at the door being moved. Two guards who she didn't know well enough to put a name on them came in, both holding their truncheons at the ready as if she were a caged lion that they were about to take for a walk. She pretended to be unbothered by their presence but the moment they walked in her body was on high alert.

They roughly opened the chains that tied her to the chair and instantly replaced them with handcuffs on both her wrists and her feet, then they pulled her up and pushed her towards the door.

"I'm going, I'm going! No need to push me", she said, struggling for a moment as her feet had to get used to the limited space between them which made it nearly impossible to take steps larger than 20 centimeter. The guards knew that as well – the next push against her back made her loose her balance completely and basically sent her falling out of the cell. Her head hit the ground with a smack and she let out a groan. Only a few meter away from her Saray was being taken out of her cell and apparently her guards didn't feel the urge to toss her around like a Piñata; hearing Zulema groan she briefly turned around but when their gazes met she hastily turned away again. Nice.

Suddenly, Zulema felt a hand close around her neck, pulling her up until she was on her knees and in the process for sure tearing out strands of hair.

"It's not up to you to decide whether or not you are to be pushed", one of the guards hissed into her ear. "And now get up before _I_ decide that you're going to crawl all the way to the bus."

Zulema licked her lips and nodded. "Alright." If she had learned one thing during her many years in prison it was that sometimes it's better to give in instead of fighting a battle that you can't win.

The guard yanked her up until she was standing and gave her another push to get her walking. This time she stayed silent, luckily kept her balance and moved forward as fast as the chains allowed. 

The prison seemed like a ghosttown; there were no voices to be heard and the hallways they were passing through were empty. Saray, who was walking ahead of her, seemed to notice the unusual emptieness as well.

"Where is everyone?", she asked.

The guard walking behind Saray snorted. "In their cells where they belong."

"But it's still early in the evening. Why are they in their cells already?"

Zulema closed her eyes. "New measures", she said with a sigh.

One of the guards accompanying Saray turned around, shot Zulema a look of disdain and spat right in front of her feet.

"Right, Miss know-it-all", he said. "New measures." Zulema bit her lip in order to not throw herself at the guard. _Stay calm._ She couldn't afford a broken rib or whatever consequences an attack on one of the guards would be if she wanted her plan to work. So she walked ahead as if nothing had happened.

After a few more minutes in which nobody had spoken a word, they finally arrived at the door leading to the parking lot. It opened automatically when one of the guards held a chip in front of it and the moment it swayed open Zulema felt two hands pressing down her shoulders.

"Wouldn't want you to run away", the guard behind her said as he led her towards the opened door, his fingers digging into her shoulder.

"Of course", she said and forced a smile onto her lips. The bright sunlight was blinding her so she had to close her eyes for a moment and when she opened them again, she was outside. The sun was warming her skin and if she had not opened her eyes she could have told herself that she was not in chains on a reeking parking lot but on a street, maybe, that led towards the one destination that was steadily moving closer – freedom.

A push against her back let her snap out of that imagination. "Move", the guard growled.

"Yeah", she said and stumbled forward again. Now she saw the others as well; Rizos and Macarena were already standing in front of a yellow bus that wore the inscription 'Transport of prisoners' written across it's sides. Rizos briefliy looked at Saray who was positioning herself next to her… ex-girlfriend? Zulema couldn't keep up with the love-triangle between the three of them, honestly. 

"Into the bus, one by one!" A guard came up to the front of the bus and took Macarena by the arm to lead her inside. She mumbeled something inaudible but the guard ignored her and simply pushed her forward. When he came back to the door Rizos was already standing at the ready and he led her inside as well, then he did the same with Saray. Zulema was the last one remaining outside and she used the opportunity to have a quick glance into the driver's cabin of the bus. There were only two seats, both of them being covered by a carelessly thrown jacket. So two guards only, indeed.

"Go!" The guard still holding her by the shoulders pushed her towards the door where his colleague was already waiting to take her inside. She nodded and let herself be led inside where the others were already seated as far apart from each other as possible. The guard led her towards the seat that was closest to the driver's cabin and opposite to Macarena's seat. He pushed Zulema down, grabbed her arms and put another pair of handcuffs aroud her left wrist, tying it to a bar below the window. Not ideal but not too bad, either.

The guard went back to the door, turned around to them one last time and spat on the floor at the entry of the bus.

"Hope I won't ever see you _hijas de puta_ again", he said, then he slammed the door shut.

"God, what is it about all this spitting again", Zulema said, earning a sly grin from Macarena.

"Nobody has spat at me this far, I guess that might be on you", the blonde said.

Zulema laughed. "Might be right, _rubia_."

"Stop playing nice, Zulema", Saray cut in. When Zulema turned around she saw the _gitana_ sitting behind her, wearing a deep frown. "You want to escape on your own? Fine, then be on your own!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter - thanks again for your comments, your feedback really motivates me!

"What?" Macarena looked from Zulema to Saray and back to Zulema. The latter just sighed and leaned back in her seat. She had expected that Saray would tell the others about her intentions of escaping, she had just hoped that she would wait a bit longer than a mere minute after they had gotten into the bus.

"Is that true?", Macarena said with a low ton of voice. Zulema stayed silent. From behind her she heard Rizos mumble "Damn it".

A kick against her legs made her open her eyes. "I'm talking to you, Zulema", Macarend said. Zulema lazily turned towards her and raised her brows. Since denial would be useless she decided to be straightforward.

"Of course I'm trying to escape", she said. "Or did you expect me to let this opportunity go by?"

"But it's going to be what – an exclusive escape?"

"Nice choice of words. Basically, yes, that's what it's going to be. And don't even try to evoke my emotions in order to let you be part of it – Saray has already failed at that." She pulled her face into a grimace and turned away from Macarena. The engine of the bus rumbled and from the driver's cabin, that was seperated from their part of the bus by a door that had a grid in it, were low voices to be heard.

"What the actual fuck, Zulema?", Rizos hissed from behind Zulema. "You think you can make us all get transferred to another fucking prison while _you_ escape? Over my dead body."

"Nobody asked you about your opinion, lover-girl", Zulema said, not bothering to turn around to face the other woman but instead looking straight ahead. "You pretty much enjoyed plunging that stick into Sandoval, if I remember correctly, so don't blame me for the consequences. In fact, you should be thanking me for having had the opportunity to make his death as painful as it was, you all should." 

Rizos' chains rattled. "I will not thank you for anything in my life, ever, because you are the last person on this whole planet who deserves grattitude."

Zulema let out a laugh. "Ouch, that hurt my feelings."

Rizos attempted to say something else but fell quiet when the lid that had until now covered the grid in the door was being moved. The face of the guard that had accompanied Zulema outside appeared on the other side.

"We're leaving", he said, giving each of them a derogative look. "You see this?", he added and lifted his right hand so they could see what he was holding. A gun. "If one of you tries something, I will shoot you. I don't care who I hit and I don't care where I hit you. Understood?"

Zulema nodded and saw the others do the same. She was the last one the guard glanced at before he turned around to sit down at the passenger's seat. So he was the substitute-cop. Knowing that he was armed was basically good; as long as she managed to take the gun from him before he shot her. She had no doubt that he would not hesitate to shoot her in particular. 

A door was thrown shut, then the engine roared anew and the bus slowly started moving. Through the grid Zulema could see that the one driving the bus was also a man but from behind she couldn't identify him. It was unlikely that he was also wearing a gun if it was such a big deal for his partner; the police must have given it to him because they considered the four of them a risk, yes, but not that much of a risk that a police officer had to accompany their transfer. Good for them.

"I hope he shoots you." Zulema actually flinched when Saray suddenly whispered into her ear. 

"Already got enough scars from your shitty aim", she responded, moving a bit in her seat to conceal her startled reaction.

"Wouldn't have been necessary."

"Oh Saray, just drop it. I can't hear it anymore."

"And I can't stand seeing your face anymore knowing that you are nothing more that a worthless traitor."

That was it. Zulema spun around, finding each of the three watching her with a look of disdain.

"And why am I responsible for your freedom? Can't you escape on your own? Do you think just because I have given birth once I will act like a mother towards all of you now?" She had to restrain herself to keep her voice low; it would certainly be of no use if the guards listened to their conversation but it was truly hard not to shout at the others.

"That's not the point", snapped Macarena. "And don't act like you don't know it; the point is that we are all in this together and it is nothing but selfish if you exclude us from your plan."

"It is not", Zulema countered, leaning over the aisle of the bus until she was nearly right in front of Macarena's face. "You know what would be selfish? If I pulled you into this even deeper, if I had you be part of my plan even though I know that it is completely unsafe."

Macarena snorted. "You're twisting this whole matter", she said. "As if you care about our safety. All you care about is yourself."

"So what? You know what happened the last time I fled with someone else? Two people died, one of them my daughter who had nothing to do with that whole shit and the third one tried to shoot me because I turned on her, but I guess you have already heard that story from Saray; or from your shared girlfriend."

Macarena raised her brows. "So you are telling me what now? That you don't want one of us to get hurt? Come on, Zulema, stop talking shit!"

God, that woman really was relentless. Zulema took a deep breath to keep her voice as low as possible and the suppressed fury made her words vibrate. "I am telling you that I don't want others involved in my plan because everyone has a breaking point, okay? If I escaped with you and the police found one of you, you would turn on me, on anyone. You would, each of us would."

Macarena shook her head. "You are talking nonsense. We wouldn't even need to stay together. We could split up right after we get out of here, none of us would need to know where the others go. How are you planning to escape, anyway? It will be you against two guards, at least one of them wearing a gun. They will kill you, Zulema. I thought you were smarter than this."

Unbelievable. Zulema took a deep breath. Then another one. Her eyes seemed to be linked to Macarena's and what she saw in them made her pause. Truth. Macarena was speaking the truth. Zulema wouldn't stand a chance against two guards and possibly three other prisoners who for sure would do anything to make her escape fail if they couldn't be a part of it. But four against two… nearly seemed to promise a win, didn't it?

"Fine", Zulema spat, tearing her gaze away from Macarena. "Fine! We'll do it together. But the second we're free I don't want to see anyone of you ever again." 

She gave each of them a meaningful look, then she turned around again to stare at the metal door, unsure if this change on plans made her feel better or worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you like it if i wrote one of the next chapters from Macarena's POV? Could be interesting, don't you think? Tell me your opinions about this idea!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go - the escape, I hope it lives up to your expectations!  
> The next chapter will be told from Maca's POV.

They had been driving for around one hour now. The streets were slowly getting quieter as the sun started to vanish behind the high trees that were framing the streets. Zulema continously stared out of the window. Soon the weak sunlight would be gone completely.

Time to start.

She quickly glanced through the grid in the door, finding the guards laughing about some joke the driver had made. None of them seemed concerned; they were even listening to music and had previously hummed along to a song or two. Which certainly wasn't bad.

She kept her eyes on the guards while slowly lifting her feet which were still tied together until she could reach them with her equally tied up hands. She let her right hand slide into her right shoe. Her fingers closed around something long and thin. Holding her breath, she pulled it out of her shoe where she had been hiding it since leaving the infirmary the day before with Sandoval at her mercy. It was meant to be her backup weapon; luckily the guards had been stupid enough not to check her shoes when they threw her into the solitary cell, otherwise they would have found what would now hopefully help them break free – a long scalpel.

She heard Macarena gasp slightly and shot her a warning look before adjusting the scalpel in her hand and poking it into the lock of the handcuffs at her feet. After a few seconds it snapped open. Zulema would almost have laughed. It really shouldn't be that easy. Opening the handcuffs on her wrists was a bit more dificult but after a minute she was done.

"Holy shit", muttered Saray. Zulema smirked, then she tossed the scalpel over to Macarena.

"Your turn, _rubia_ ", she said. The scalpel landed on Macarena's lap and the blonde shot Zulema an undecipherable look before taking the scalpel to open her handcuffs as well.

"Will you tell us your plan now?", Macarena asked. The lock on her feet clicked open. Zulema turned away from her to keep an eye on the guards again. She guessed by now it was really time to tell the others what she was planning.

"Open you handcuffs but don't remove them; the guards mustn't suspect anything", she said, careful to keep her voice low. "When I say 'Now', one of you will cut me with the scalpel right here." She pointed at her stomach. "Just not to deep, otherwise, well, I will die, I guess. It's just about drawing some blood, so the guards will have to open this door to get the situation under control."

"Hold on", Saray said. "You want this fucking madhead carrying a gun to get in rage?" 

"We won't have another chance to have him open the door. And to get his gun."

"You want to take his gun?" Macarena was staring at Zulema incredulously. Zulema shrugged.

"Yeah. Or would you rather want him to have it? It won't be too hard; you cut me, he comes inside, concentrating on the one of you who's done it, I surprise him from behind, give him a nice headbutt and take his gun. In the meantime his colleague will have stopped the bus, you will do whatever you want with him, run out of this bus, I follow close behind and we're free." 

"Alright", said Rizos who was just opening her handcuffs. "Sounds like a good plan to me, I'm in."

"It does not sound like a good plan at all", Macarena said, speaking slowly as if she were explaining the matter to children. "What do you mean; one of us cuts you – what if the cut is too deep and you won't be able to overwhelm the guard? Can't we just _pretend_ that we're having a fight or something?"

Zulema smirked mischievously. "Worried about my well-being?", she asked. Before Macarena was able to say something in response she answered the blonde's question. "Really sweet, but, no, we can't just pretend because we need him to open this door, as I've said before, and he won't do that if we're having a silly punching match."

"Alright then", said Macarena but Zulema could see by the way the blonde looked at her that she was still not a houndred percent convinced of her idea. "And what if he shoots one of us before you can take the gun?"

Zulema sighed in annoyance. Couldn't this woman just stop questioning every single thing she said?

"He won't just randomly shoot one of you. He said that he'd do it, yes, but he would for sure be in a lot of trouble if he killed one of us."

"Like the amount of trouble he'd be in if he let us escape?"

"God, Maca, either you accept my plan or you won't be a part of it!", Zulema snapped. She was really growing tired of Macarena's doubts. She shot the blonde a short look. "Got it?"

"Yes, fine", Macarena answered.

It were moments like this in which Zulema wished she would have kept her plan to herself only. But it was too late for that and she should spend less time being angry about Macarena and instead focus on the plan itself. Because it really wasn't as risk-free as she wanted the others to believe it was.

"Have you all opened your handcuffs?", she asked, trying to shake of the slight feeling of uncertainity that was arising inside of her. Each of the three muttered a 'Yes'. Zulema nodded and looked out of the window again. The street they were passing was framed by woods which were almost completely sinking in the darkness of the approaching night. Neither behind them nor in front of them were lights of approaching cars to be seen. Zulema took a deep breath.

"Now", she muttered.

She heard Saray growl from behind her, then she felt her arm wrap around her neck. The cut hurt. Due to her already damaged skin that still wore scars from the burns she had suffered in the laundry a few years ago, she had known that scratching it wouldn't hurt too much – the nerve endings were almost completely destroyed – but piercing through it was something else. It was bearable, though, and normally she wouldn't have done more than groan but since they needed attention she let out a scream.

Saray screamed as well; " _Hija de puta_ , I will make you pay!" Rizos and Maca joined in and screamed insults both Saray and Zulema. They for sure knew how to put up a show. Saray had by now removed the scalpel from Zulemas stomach which was by now bleeding like Zulema had imagined it would.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?", screamed the guard from behind the grid. He had stood up and was frantically looking around trying to estimate the situation. "Get back to your seat now! Fucking pieces of shit!"

Saray did no such thing; instead she threw herself at Zulema once more, this time only pretending to stab her, though.

"I will kill you", she screamed, the hand holding the scalpel high in the air so the guard could see it clearly. " _Hija de puta_ – Aaargh!"

He had opened the door and thrown himself at Saray, trying to get the scalpel out of her hand. The pair fell onto the floor of the bus and it was then that the driver pulled the brakes. Now they had to be fast. Zulema ripped her wrists out of the handcuffs, leaned over her seat and kicked the guard's head with both of her feet. He let out a groan as he rolled off of Saray who got up immediately, stumbeling towards the open door.

Zulema let herself fall onto the body of the guard now, pressing his face onto the floor with one hand and reaching for his gun that he was still holding in his right hand with the other but he was stronger than she would have thought; he fought ruthlessly against her weight on his back, trying to shake her off – and in the process ramming his elbow into her stomach.

This time she didn't have to force herself to scream; the pain was overwhelming. She felt the wound tear open and for a moment she thought she would pass out. Everything seemed to happen in a blur; her grip on the guard's head had loosened and he had nearly buckled her off when suddenly a truncheon collided with his head and his body went slack. When Zulema looked up she saw Macarena standing above her, in her hand a truncheon.

"What are you waiting for?", the blonde asked. "Come on!"

Zulema hastily grabbed the gun from the guard's motionless hand and jumped to her feet. Too fast. She gasped when the wound on her stomach throbbed painfully and she had to grab one of the seats to steady herself. _Fuck_. The gun nearly slipped out of her shaking hand which made her snap back to reality. In the door she could see Macarena's sillhouette, in the driver's seat the motionless body of the second guard. They surely hadn't killed him. Macarena was right. They had to go. Zulema cautiously let go of the seat she was holding onto and stumbled towards the exit of the bus. Macarena let her pass by and grabbed her elbow when Zulema missed a step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really was a lot of fun to write!   
> And do we see some Maca/Zulema dynamics here...? We'll see in the next chapter, Maca's POV as promised.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Macarena's POV as promised. And some (okay: a lot of) Zurena interaction as well...  
> I hope you like it!

Macarena was aware that Zulema had said there would be no interaction between the four of them the moment they would leave the bus. But by the time herself, Rizos and Saray were standing between the trees near the road, panting heavily from knocking out the guard who had been driving, Zulema wasn't with them yet. She had said she'd follow close behind. But she had wanted that gun. For a mere moment, it was quiet around them, nobody daring to say something. Then a scream echoed from within the bus.

"Fuck", said Saray, her eyes darting towards the bus. "Do you think…-"

Macarena interrupted her; "I'll go."

Before one of the others could say something she was already running. She knew that Zulema wouldn't want help, especially not from her, but fuck what she wanted – Macarena would not let her die in that bus, not if it was her plan that had gotten them all out of that bus in the first place. And not if she owed that woman her life.

She jumped up the stairs to the bus and quick-wittedly grabbed the driver's truncheon from behind his seat. She was sure she would need it.

Taking a first glance at the situation unfolding in front of her, she thought that Zulema was still in charge of the situation; she was kneeling on the guards back, pressing his face onto the ground with her hands. Looking closer, however, Macarena noticed Zulema swaying. And the guard beneath her was thrashing.

Macarena hit the back of his head with all her force; he was knocked out immediately. Zulema didn't even seem to notice. It took some seconds for her to look up to Macarena and even when she did, her eyes seemed to find it hard to focus. Macarena was on the verge of asking the other woman if something was wrong but pressuring Zulema to confirm weakness had seldom done good. So she pretended not having noticed that the other woman seemed to be a bit off track. 

"What are you waiting for?", she asked, hoping to get some reaction from Zulema. "Come on!"

She turned away from the brunette with the intention of giving her the space she new she needed; and giving her the opportunity to get onto her feet without having someone watch. A moan from Zulema, however, made Macarena stop at the exit and turn around to take a closer look at the other woman. She certainly wasn't well; her right hand was holding onto one of the seats as if her life depended on it while her other hand, in which she was holding the guard's gun, was shaking.

Seeming to sense Macarena's look she let go of the seat and staggered towards the door. It was then that Macarena saw the blood. And, God, there was a lot of it. Zulema's shirt had been torn open when Saray had cut her with the scalpel and there had already been a red spot around the wounded flesh back then – now that spot had widened and the fabric seemed to be completely drenched by the blood flowing out of the wound that must have gotten worse when the guard had tried to throw Zulema off of him.

It looked bad.

But Zulema didn't want it to look bad; she walked past Macarena as if nothing had happened. Macarena followed her close by, because Zulema could pretend as much as she wanted that everything was alright, Macarena knew her long enough to know that things were everything but alright.

Walking down the stairs leading out of the bus, Zulema missed a step and she surely would have fallen if Macarena had not immediately grabbed hold of her elbow to support her. Zulema stopped walking and turned her face to look at the blonde.

"Let me go", she said and jerked her elbow out of Macarena's grip. Unbelievable.

"You're welcome", Macarena said sarcastically.

Zulema snorted weakly and turned around, slowly stumbling forward again.

"Shut up", she said. Her right hand had moved to her stomach and she hissed when it touched the still bleeding wound.

"Don't you think you should sit down for a moment?", asked Macarena, who hurriedly catched up to Zulema. She should have guessed the answer.

"No."

"I really think…-"

"I don't care what you think, keep going."

Macarena closed her mouth shut. Right. They stumbled a bit further through the forest until the sound of cracking wood made them both stop. Zulema raised the gun and pointed it into the darkness. Macarena didn't miss how her face contorted at the sudden movement.

"God damn it, there you are!"

Macarena would never have thought that the voice of Saray would ever make her feel that relieved. The _gitana_ stepped into the shallow light in front of them, grinning from one ear to the other.

"We made it", she said, raising her hands up in the air. "We made it!" Her arms went down and she reached out to Macarena and Zulema, pulling them into a forceful embrace. The impact made Zulema groan. Pushing Saray hard against the shoulder she turned away from them, bending over and reaching out to a nearby tree to support herself.

"What…-", began Saray but Macarena gave her a sharp look. Saray understood. They both stayed quiet. Macarena saw out of the corner of her eye how Zulema was shaking.

"Sure you're fine, Zulema?", she asked.

No reaction.

"Zulema?", asked Saray.

A whimper.

"Alright, that's it", said Macarena, taking large steps into the direction where Zulema was standing. Not caring about what the brunette would think about it, Macarena took Zulema by the shoulders. "You sit down right now and let me have a look at that."

It was the first time Zulema actually did what Macarena asked of her. Macarena helped her to lower herself to the ground, noticing how tightly the other woman was grabbing her lower arm.

"Fuck, I didn't… I didn't think it would be that deep", said Saray while kneeling down next to the two of them, glancing at Zulema's stomach worriedly.

"It's not your fault", said Zulema between gritted teeth. "It was that fucking guard. And it's not that bad I just… need a second."

On Zulema's forehead Macarena could see small droplets of sweat. A second. Right.

Macarena made a move to lift Zulema's shirt in order to take a look at the wound but the brunette grabbed her by the wrist before she could touch her. When Macarena looked into the Zulema's eyes she felt like she was staring at a wounded animal.

"I'll just take a quick look, alright?", she said, pulling her wrist out of Zulema's grasp. Zulema stared at her a second longer, then she turned her gaze away and nodded.

Lifting Zulema's shirt, Macarena had to swallow. It was not a pretty sight. The cut itself may not have been deep but in the fight with the guard the wound must have torn open. Where the flesh was damaged blood was leaking out of it, running down Zulemas body and seemingly not wanting to stop.

"Is it possible that this is some… artery or something?", Saray asked, her voice a bit higher that usual.

Zulema laughed but it sounded more like a cough. "If you had hit the artery you would already be burrying my body", she said.

Ignoring her, Macarena took of her yellow blouse and tore it in half.

"No, it luckily is not", she said. "I guess it's just bleeding that much because of it's largeness. It's important to stop the bleeding nevertheless. I will use this as a compress, alright? I'm sorry, it will hurt but otherwise it won't stop bleeding."

She adjusted the blouse in her hands. Zulema closed her eyes.

"Just go for it", she said.

The moment Macarena came in contact with the wound Zulema's body tensed up as if her muscles were going to break through her skin. The brunette let out a suppressed groan and dug her fingers into the muddy ground beneath her while Macarena was pressing the blouse onto her stomach. It must hurt like hell. After a few more seconds Zulema's body slowly began to relax again; her breaths came laboured and in the corner of her eyes Macarena could see tears but it seemed as if her body had accustomed itself to the pressure Macarena was exerting on the wound. 

"Good", said Macarena even though she wasn't sure at all if anything was good right now. "I'll strap this around your waist, alright? Saray, can you hold this for a second?"

Saray nodded and carefully put her hand on the blouse at Zulema's stomach, pressing it down the same way Macarena had done. Macarena let go of the fabric and grabbed two of the previously torn off stripes, tying them together, then she caitiously wrapped the long stripe around Zulema's stomach.

"Alright", Macarena said. "Can you move a bit forward just so I can make tie this together at your back?"

Zulema still had her eyes shut and at first Macarena feared that she might have lost consciousness but then she nodded, reaching out to Saray who grabbed her hand and slightly pulled her forward. Macarena tied the fabric together as fast as she could but still checking twice if the knot would hold, then she took Zulema by the shoulder again and gently let her sink back against the tree.

"That's it", she said. "Just… don't move for a minute or two, alright? The bleeding needs to stop."

Zulema's eyes flickered open. They were watery.

"You should go", she said, her voice rough. Macarena thought she must have misunderstood her.

"What?", she asked. Zulema closed her eyes, taking a breath.

"Someone will see the bus. They will notice something's wrong. They will search for us and they will start right here. You need to go."

"No, no, no, we won't just leave you here", said Saray who was still holding Zulema's hand. "Look, Rizos is checking out this area right now. Maybe she finds something, a hut or… i don't know, somthing where we can hide." Rizos, of course. Until Saray had mentioned her, Macarena hadn't even noticed that she was gone and she scolded herself for it.

Zulema shook her head. "We can't hide, Saray. Not half a mile from where we've knocked out two prison guards and fled from their watch." She grimaced as she adjusted her position against the tree. "I said we would split up as soon as we're free. So just… go."

"No", said Macarena, her voice sharp. She was really growing tired of Zulema's lone-wolf-attitude, especially in this situation. "We will go with you or we won't go at all." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear, it's so much fun to write about these two!  
> Did you like reading from Maca's POV as well?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your comments, I love reading what you think about this fic so keep telling me!

Zulema stared at Macarena and hoped that her stare only would be enough to make that ridiculous woman just shut up, but the blonde just looked back at her, on top of it raising one brow. If that fucking wound weren't hurting that much, Zulema would very much have liked to jump up and smack that expression right out Macarena's face. It's not that the other woman challenging her would bother Zulema – in fact she had to admit that during the time Macarena had been in hospital, things had gotten quite boring without someone trying to defy her. What did bother her, though, was that Macarena had to do this _now._

"They will find us", Zulema said, looking at each Saray and Macarena, trying to make them finally understand. "They will find us, and all of this will have been for nothing if you don't go _right_ _now_." It couldn't be that hard to comprehend, could it?

"And you will do what – just sit here waiting for them to get you?" Saray shook her head. "No. I'm all with Macarena on this matter. Well pull this through together."

"We'll pull thorugh what together?" Zulema saw Macarena flinch at the sudden apearance of Rizos between the trees. Seeing them all sit on the ground, Rizos frowned and quickly came closer.

"What happened?", she asked, then her gaze fell upon Zulemas bandaged stomach and she sighed. "Oh shit", she said. "We have a problem, then?", she asked and Zulema couldn't help feeling irritated. By all of them. She had said that they were going to split up and they had all agreed to do so. Why was everyone now talking like they would not? Why couldn't they accept that she did not want their help because it would be their doom?

"Yes", said Macarena, brushing a strand of hair from her face and getting up from the ground, truning to face Rizos. "Did you find anything? Saray said you were checking out the area?"

Rizos shook her head. "Nope, nothing. Just trees and mud and leaves."

Macarena sighed and put a hand on her temples. Zulema could practically see the blonde's brain working. Suddenly her eyes lit up. 

"We haven't lost much time yet, have we?", she said.

Saray shrugged. "Around 15 minutes or so."

Macarena nodded. "The bus ride would have taken about three and a half hours. We weren't driving for much longer than half an hour, so they won't be exprecting the bus to arrive earlier than approximately two and a half hours from now."

Zulema closed her eyes. She saw where this was going and she didn't like it at all.

"Which means", continued Macarena. "That we have two and a half hours to take that bus and drive somewhere else with it. Because earlier, no one will search for it."

Saray let go of Zulema's hand and jumped up. "Thats brilliant, _rubia"_ , she said. "Fuck, that really is brilliant!"

Zulema couldn't stand it any longer. "It is not brilliant at all", she snapped, opening her eyes and focussing her gaze on Macarena. "Where would you drive, huh? Know someone who would offer a room to four prisoners who are still dressed that damn yellow uniform that practically screams 'Lock me back in'? And by the way – what if the guards have already woken and called the police? They could already be waiting for us right there, at the bus."

Macarena crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked down at Zulema as if she were her parent teaching her a lesson. "You know what, Zulema?", the blonde asked. "I'm really growing tired of you making everyone but yourself seem stupid, when it was in fact your stupidity that brought you – _us_ – in this situation. My plan is good, better than your's at least, so, for once, just go along with it. Think that's possible?"

She raised her brow _again_ and Zulema felt like that specific move made something inside of her snap. She clenched her jaw, pressed her hands onto the ground and pushed herself up. Her vision blackened momentarily but she ignored it and steadied herself by grabbing hold of the tree behind her. It hurt, it hurt a fucking lot but she forced her eyes open, blinked a few times and only let out a single hiss when the wound throbbed painfully, then she could finally face Macarena again. The blonde looked at her astonishedly and Zulema would have taken pleasure in the surprise on Macarena's face if she weren't that infuriated by the other woman.

"So you're the boss now?", she asked, panting a bit after getting up from the ground that fast.

Macarena looked at her sternly. "This is not about who the boss is."

"Oh, I think that it exactly what this is about", said Zulema, tilting her head to one side. "Who would have thought", she continued. " _Macarenita_ taking control."

"You're being ridiculous."

"No, _you_ are."

Saray, who was standing behind Macarena, groaned exasperated. "For fuck's sake, cut the crap, Zulema. I don't know about you, but I don't fancy getting caught again, so if you don't have a better plan than Macarena just shut up."

Zulema had her gaze still focussed on Macarena. The blonde was equally looking at her.

"I'll go ahead and check on the guards", said Rizos, making her way towards where they had come from.

"Wait", said Saray. She shot Zulema a short glance, then she bent down to take the gun that was still laying next to Zulema's feet in the mud. "Might need this one", Saray said chuckling and followed Rizos. 

Zulema let out a breath and closed her eyes. It was settled, then. Macarena had actually managed to pull them all on her side, even Saray. Pathetic.

"This isn't prison, Zulema."

Opening her eyes, Zulema saw Macarena bend down and take the truncheon she had used to knock out the guard she had been fighting with from the ground. Straightening herself again, Macarena looked at Zulema with a calm expression.

"None of us is afraid of you. You should stop acting as if we were."

"You should be afraid, then", snarled Zulema.

Macarena slightly shook her head. "Nevermind", she mumbled, turning away from Zulema and staring to walk, following Saray and Rizos. 

Zulema swallowed. She didn't exactly know how long they had been walking until they met Saray but she did know that the walk back, no matter how long it may be, wouldn't make the wound any better. By now Macarena was nearly being swallowed by the darkness of the forest, turning aruond one last time, her eyes glistening in the dark. Their gazes met. Zulema looked away first, pushing herself away from the tree reluctantly. She nearly fell when taking the first step without having something to hold onto and hardly managed to stay on her feet.

"For heaven's sake!", hissed Macarena, then Zulema heard the other woman taking large steps into her direction. A mere second later the blonde roughly threw Zulema's arm over her shoulder and held her by the waist with the other hand.

"I really hate you", said Macarena while starting to walk. Zulema stumbled a bit but Macarena pulled her along, not walking particularily slow. The brunette snorted.

"Yeah, hate you too", she said. "You should have let me bleed to death, would've been much easier for all of you."

"There's still a possibility of that happening so don't get too cocky."

Zulema laughed. "Shit", she said, directing her gaze up to the sky. "My plan really was a mess."

"Yeah."

"And you're going to pay for it. Because you chose to save me instead of saving your own asses."

"No one's going to pay for it", said Macarena, adjusting her grip on Zulema's waist. "Because my plan actually isn't that bad, and you know it."

"You're really desperate for my approval, aren't you?"

This time it was Macarena who let out a snort. "Absolutely not. Just fed up with your attitude."

In front of them the forest was slowly getting more sparsely and in the distance they could see the bus. Next to it, Rizos was tying up the two guards who still seemed to be unconscious while Saray was stripping them from their equipment. Macarena straightened her back when Rizos was waving at them with the key of the bus in her hand and a grin on her lips.

"See?", the blonde said. "It's going to work."

Zulema turned her head to look at the blonde. "Totally desperate for my approval", she said, pulling the right corner of her mouth up into a crooked grin.

Macarena let out an exasperated sigh. "Whatever", she said, pulling Zulema forward again and walking even faster than before.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter already because inspiration overcame me and made me write this chapter within a few hours, so enjoy! :)  
> (Maca's POV again and some confused emotions, I hope you like it!)

The moment Rizos had turned the key inside of the ignition lock and the engine had roared alive, Macarena had felt like a burden was being lifted from her shoulders even though she knew that they were far from safe. But with each meter the bus was moving away from the spot where they had left the guards, a treacherous sensation of safety crept up inside her, making her let out long breaths and even getting slightly more comfortable in her seat beside Rizos who was driving the bus.

She knew that she shouldn't, though; she knew that this plan was indeed risky, but was there even a way for them to live a riskless life by now? They would always be on the run, always in the role of the prey that runs and hides but that will never be able to live without having to constantly watch it's back. Was that really freedom? Macarena didn't know. Maybe it was, maybe not. Maybe freedom was just an illusion, a sweet illusion that made you risk everything just for the sake of it, but that you could never reach because it just didn't exist. But then, maybe this applied only for them.

"You fine?" Rizos pulled Macarena out of her thoughts. They were driving for around an hour now and had barely talked during that time, mostly due to Macarena's lack of motivation to have a conversation. The curly haired woman was watching her out of the corner of her eye and smiled before directing her eyes at the street again.

"Yeah", said Macarena. "Yeah, I'm just… thinking."

"Of course you are. You know, this plan really is great. And a lot of fun on top of it."

Macarena snorted. "Right. I knew you would like stealing a bus."

"For sure." Rizos smiled again but this time Macarena avoided meeting her gaze. She knew what Rizos was doing and she couldn't handle it right now. The flirting.

From behind them she could hear the muffled voices of Saray and Zulema who were sitting in the back part of the bus.

After tying the guards together and dragging them between the trees where they would not be seen that easily in the dark, Rizos had been the first one to jump inside the bus, Saray on her heels. Macarena had wanted to help Zulema up the stairs but the brunette had shaken her off and instead clung onto the handrail leading up to the bus, then she had nodded in the direction of Saray and the _gitana_ had followed Zulema into the back part of the bus without aither word. Macarena had had to pull herself together in order to not make a snide comment as to why the words 'Thank you' seemed to be beyond Zulema's vocabulary but instead she had just pulled open the glove compartement, snatched the first aid kit out of it and tossed it over to Saray who had catched it in mid air. Zulema hadn't even done so much as look at the blonde. This woman was just so fucked up, really.

Not that Macarena cared. Neither did she care about the topic of the conversation the two women behind her were having. She did not. But when she heard her name being mentioned she couldn't help listening.

"Why are you so harsh on her?"

"Hm?"

"Macarena. She did nothing wrong, did she?"

"Oh Saray, please stop it."

"No, seriously – what's the matter?" 

There was a hiss, then a groan. Saray must be cleaning and newly bandaging the wound.

"Fuck, this is… For God's sake!"

"Stop whining", said Saray. "I'm nearly done."

"I'll take this scissors and ram them into your stomach, then we'll see who's whining, _hija de puta."_

Saray laughed in response, and Macarena even heard a low chuckle from Zulema.

"So?", said Saray. "The _rubia_? Is it something personal?"

"She's just annoying me, that's it."

"She basically saved your life, I guess", said Saray, her voice a bit more cautious. "What's annoying about that?"

Zulema groaned again. "God damn it, what's the matter with you? Are you two best friends now or what?"

"No, but maybe she's just not as much a pain in the ass as we thought her to be."

A snort. "Being a mother has really messed up your brain, _gitana._ "

"Maybe. Alright, I'm done here. Looks good. Hey, _rubia,_ look at this!"

Macarena flinched and instantly felt like she had been caught, but she did her best to not make the others notice that.

"What?", she said and turned around with a hopefully innocent looking expression. Saray was grinning and pointed with bloody hands at Zulema's stomach that was now covered by a clean, white bandage that was neatly applied.

"Didn't think I'd ever thank Sandoval for something in my life but he did teach me how to patch up someone", Saray said. Zulema rolled her eyes and pulled her blouse over the bandages.

"Yeah, great", she said while trying to adjust her position in the seat.

"Come on, I even stitched it up!"

"I could have done that better than you, so stay grounded." 

Saray clicked her tounge and shook her head. "You could not."

Zulema equally shook her head but on her lips Macarena could see a slight smile, as on Saray's. Those two were really something else.

"Great", said the blonde, turning around again to face the street. She heard steps coming up to her but she didn't bother to look.

"Where are we even driving?", asked Saray who had come to the front of the bus to put the first aid kit back into the glove compartement.

If only Macarena knew the answer to that. "I guess we should change the vehicle as soon as we can. In a few miles there is a town coming up, maybe Rizos can break into a car and, you know, short-circuit it."

"Of course I can", said Rizos, her eyes sparkling.

Macarena smiled weakly. At least one person was enjoying this.

"Fine. And then?"

Macarena lifted her shoulders. "I guess we should drive throughout the night and try to get to France, maybe. There we could rent a room in a motel for the next night and then… just continue driving."

"With which destination?" Zulema's voice wasn't loud but the missing volume was made up for by dripping sarcasm that made ignoring it impossible. "Or do you just wanna keep driving on and on? A never ending road-trip?"

Macarena closed her eyes. She was really, _really_ tired of this shit. Couldn't they all just behave like the adult women they were.

"Do you have a better plan?", she asked, still not turning around. She knew she would lose her patience if she looked into the other woman's provoking face.

"No. But that doesn't mean I have to like your plan."

Macarena could imagine the other woman's facial expression; the deliberately bored look on her face but then in contrast the big, brown eyes that seemed to say 'Contradict me and I'll teach you not to' everytime you looked at them. She knew that expression because she saw herself confronted with it every fucking time she looked at the brunette and after a while it had just become unsufferable to her.

"To me, it sounds reasonable", said Saray with a voice that almost sounded like a teacher who was mediating between two cheeky pupils.

Zulema snorted and repeated "Reasonable" but said nothing else while Saray made her way back to the brunette.

"This is so exciting", said Rizos. She was beaming and shot Macarena a short look. "I wish I could kiss you right now but I need to watch the road."

Macarena forced a smile onto her lips but it was more of a grimace. "Yeah", she said. "Eyes on the road."

Somehow, the thought of kissing Rizos didn't do anything to her. But then again, they hadn't seen each other for a long time and maybe they just had to warm up again. Maybe.

"Is that the town you mean?", said Rizos when they were passing a city sign.

"Yes", said Macarena, sighing. "Drive into some minor road and choose the car you want, as long as it's not too striking. And watch out for traffic cameras."

Hearing herself talk, the blonde nearly had to chuckle. If someone had told her five years ago that she would one day talk that apathetic about stealing a car she would have told them they were crazy. But that's what prison does to you; Knock out a guard? For sure. Steal a gun? Why not. Short-circuit a car? Should be the smallest problem.

After some cross-roads and turns around small corners, Rizos pulled over and turned off the engine of the bus.

"I'll take that one", she said, pointing to a black car parking a few meter away from them. She was already undoing her seatbelt when she suddenly reached out to Macarena and pulled her into a kiss. It surprised the blonde that much that she instictively put a hand on the curly haired woman's chest and pushed her away. Their lips had barely touched. Rizos stared at Macarena and the blonde wished she hadn't reacted that harshly, she really did. But she couldn't undo it.

Rizos smiled unsurely. "Uh, I'll… just go and… get the car."

Then she jumped out of the bus. Macarena cursed under her breath.

"Trouble in paradise?"

This time she cursed out loud. "Shut up, Zulema!"

The only response was a chuckle mixed with a snort. And Macarena knew exactly what the brunette's face would look like if she turned around to face her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for your feedback, reading it really makes my day!

When Rizos leaned forward to press her lips onto Macarena's, Zulema nearly burst out laughing. The whole situation just seemed to be pulled out of a bad romantic comedy; the way Rizos thought that _now_ of all times was the moment to kiss her beloved girlfriend, the way Macarena seemed to think it was absolutely _not_ and the way the blonde pushed the other woman away from her as if her lips had been burned by the contact. The only thing missing was some recorded reaction from a non-existent audience that would have made the rom-com moment perfect.

Poor Rizos seemed as if Macarena had hit her, but put on a smile nevertheless.

"Uh, I'll… just go and… get the car."

Out of the corner of her eye Zulema saw Saray move a bit in her seat as if she were unsure if she should follow the curly haired woman when she jumped out of the bus, but she stayed where she was. Macarena had closed her hands into fists.

"Trouble in paradise?", said Zulema, resting her chin on her hands. The blonde's body stiffened in her seat but she did not turn around.

"Shut up, Zulema!"

Sweet. Zulema chuckled and leaned back in her seat.

"I just hope she isn't too upset to break into that car now", she said, her eyes still focussed on the blonde's back.

When she got no reaction, she sighed. "Rejection is a hard thing to process."

Still nothing. "Come on, _rubia",_ she said. "This is getting boring."

"That's exactly why I'm not saying anything", came the muffled response.

"Why? Because you want to be boring?"

"No, but because I know that in order for you to put something to rest, it needs to bore you. You're like a child when it comes to things like that, actually."

Zulema snorted. "And you're what – my Mom?"

"Hell, no!"

They both let out a laugh.

It was strange, really; there were moments when Zulema wanted nothing more then grab the blonde's throat and choke the life out of her, but then there were moments like these in which she felt like there was actually a point of understanding between them that could be reached quite easily but that was most of the time just ignored by both of them. Because they _could_ work as a team, they had done so before, but sometimes Macarena was just so… annoying. Zulema had told Saray earlier, and it really was like that; there were times when the blonde was annoying Zulema so much that she just couldn't stand it anymore. She couldn't even pin-point what exactly was annoying about her, she just knew that it was like that sometimes, and she couldn't change it. It had been like that since the day Macarena had arrived at _Cruz del Sur_ and she knew that it would always stay like that.

Suddenly the door of the bus opened again and Rizos popped her head inside.

"Got it", she said. "Should we all go over now?"

Zulema rolled her eyes. "And leave the bus right where we stole the car? We could also write a sign, then; 'Macarena Ferreiro, Estefanía Kabila, Saray Vargas and Zulema Zahir have stolen this car'", she said. Sometimes it was hard for her to comprehend how people could actually be this stupid.

"Why didn't we leave you in this forest, again?", said Rizos petulantly while shooting Zulema a challenging look.

"Zulema is right", said Macarena. Zulema shut her mouth in surprise. Approval. What a rarity. "You drive ahead with the car and we follow you with the bus until we're back at some country road. We'll leave the bus there and all get into the car from there on."

Rizos nodded and went outside again, closing the door in the process, while Macarena was standing up and moving over to take a seat behind the steering wheel.

"Who said you are going to drive?", asked Saray while standing up as well. "I wanna have a turn as well."

Macarena truned around, raising her brows. "Do you have a driver's lisence?", she asked.

Saray looked at her confused. "What? No."

"I thought so. I'll drive."

She turned around again and turned the key to start the engine. Saray let herself fall onto her seat again.

"Driver's license", repeated Saray muffledly. "That's for pussies."

Macarena didn't react to that and just started driving. Zulema sighed and let her head rest against the window to her left. Her hands subconsciously moved to her stomach and she closed her eyes shut when she reached the area where it hurt most. Saray had in fact done a good job stitching the wound up and bandaging it, but that didn't change the fact that it hurt like hell. She had taken some painkillers that had luckily been inside of the first aid kit, but it felt like they hadn't helped at all. She was already dreading the moment she would have to stand up and get inside the car because she knew that she wouldn't be able to do that without support. And she hated that.

They drove for another 20 minutes, then Macarena pulled over and turned off the engine.

"We should take everything with us that could be useful in the future", she said, already opening the glove compartement. "Like this." She held up the first aid kit, then she turned around.

"You have the gun?", she asked, looking at Saray who nodded in response, pointing at her waistband.

"Good."

The blonde took some other stuff out of the glove departement, as well as the truncheons from the two guards and the radios they had taken from them. Saray stood up from her seat and got up to the front to help Macarena gather the most important things, then she jumped out of the bus first; no doubt with the intention of having a word with Rizos without Macarena nearby. 

Zulema removed her left hand from her stomach and wrapped it around the seat in front of her, pulling herself up. The dizzieness wasn't as bad as it had been in the forest but it was enough to make her sway. Before falling, she lowered herself back onto the seat, biting her lip. This _really_ sucked.

"You could just say that you need help, you know?", said Macarena who was still standing in the door. Her voice almost had a sad sound to it and her expression seemed equally low-spirited.

Zulema took a breath. Another one. She wouldn't be able to get up and walk over to that car on her own. She would not. 

"I do", she said, her voice rough. She averted her gaze from Macarena, directing it at the darkness behind the window instead. "I do need help."

The blonde came closer until she was standing right in front of Zulema. Reluctantly, the brunette raised her head to find Macarena looking at her with an unreadable look on her face.

"Alright", Macarena said and bent down to take Zulema's arm and wrap it around her shoulder as she had done in the forest. Zulema suppressed a sound of pain that threatened to escape her when Macarena helped her up.

"It's okay to as for help", Macarena said while the two of them were making their way to the front of the bus. "It doesn't make you seem weak, if that's what you're fearing."

"It's not", Zulema snapped between gritted teeth.

"Then why don't you ask?", countered Macarena. "Like, ever?"

"I just…-" God, those painkillers were making her talkative. Or was it Macarena? She didn't know. "I just don't like it. Having to rely on people. Being dependent from them."

"That's stupid. You're not dependent from someone just because you ask for their help once."

Zulema closed her eyes. "Please, Maca, I don't need your wise counsel now." 

"It just bothers me that you're always trying to do everything on your own, that's all."

"Why do you care?"

There was a short silence. "I just do."

Zulema sighed. Annoying. Just annoying.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the feedback on the last chapter was so great - really, thank you all! - I've made this chapter a bit longer than usual and a bit softer, I guess, so have fun! :)

They had driven throughout the night, as Macarena had proposed, and throughout the following day. Zulma hadn't wanted to sleep and fought determently against the looming tiredness that had overcome her when the next day's dawn broke, but the painkillers she had taken had not been particularily helpful in staying awake and at one point she had just not been able to keep her eyes open anymore and drifted asleep.

When she opened her eyes again it took some time for her to orientate herself; she was still on the back seat of the car but her body must somehow have moved while she had been asleep, since her head was now laying on something soft and warm. It was quiete comfortable and, still a bit dazed from sleep, she turned her head to see what it was that she way laying on – and immediately wished she hadn't allowed herself to fall asleep. Her body stiffened and she would have shot upright instantly if her hurting stomach weren't slowing down her every move. So she sat up slowly, hissing when the wound on her stomach throbbed. Then she glanced over to Macarena who was sitting next to her.

"Sorry", she said, her voice still a bit rough from sleep.

The blonde just smiled. "It's alright", she said. "I'm glad you got some rest." 

Zulema just shrugged and turned away from Macarena again, looking out of the front window instead. Rizos was driving the car and the sun was scratching above the horizon behind the fields framing the streets. It must be nearly evening. God, how long had she been asleep – _on Macarena's shoulder?_

"In a few miles there is a motel coming up. We'll stay there for the night", said Macarena.

"Why?", asked Zulema, turning to face the blonde again. "So they can catch up to us?"

"We're already in France. They won't catch up on us that easily. And I guess we could all need a good night's rest, a shower and a detailed discussion about what we do next."

In France. Zulema had really slept long, then.

"And you think they won't call the police when they see us walking into a motel in our beautiful yellow uniform?", asked Zulema.

"Rizos got us some clothes from a gas station we've stopped at."

Saray laughed from the passenger's seat. "Shit, Zulema, since when do you sleep like Sleeping Beauty?"

Yeah, since when, honestly?

"It's because you're presence is exhausting", Zulema answered, smiling a bit, though. It was indeed unusual for her to sleep that tightly and she scolded herself for letting it come that far, but now it was too late, anyway.

"And with which money do we pay the motel?", she asked, even though by now she already expected that the others had figured that out as well.

"Found a purse in the golve compartement", said Saray, holding a small wallet up in the air.

Zulema shook her head, smiling incredulously. "Of course you have", she said. Then she actually let out a laugh. "Fuck, I've had plans fail which had months of preparation, and you want to tell me that this time everything will be as easy as a trip to the mall?"

Saray shrugged. "It's a lot more fun than a trip to the mall, isn't it?"

Zulama just took a deep breath, rested her chin on her hand and said nothing more.

They drove for another ten minutes, then Rizos turned into some small lanes and eventually onto the parking lot of a small, inconspicious building that could have been misinterpreted as an abandoned house if there hadn't been a small, flickering sign with the word 'Motel' on it. Behind the motel was a forest with a small path leading from the back of the house into the woods and from the main road neither the parking lot nor the motel itself could be seen. It was indeed not that bad of a choice, even though Zulema still felt like they shouldn't stop driving yet. But nobody seemed to listen to her anymore anyway, so why make a fuss about it.

"How do you know this place", asked Zulema when Rizos turned off the engine. There were four other cars on the parking lot, none of them particularily modern or expensive looking, just like theirs.

"I've been here a few times with my parents when I was a child", said Macarena who was already loosening her seatbelt. "We used to make vacations on the French coast and stayed here overnight. Back then it wasn't as… run-down, but I think it will do."

"Here", said Saray, pulling two sweat-shirts and pants out of a small plastic bag and passing them back to Macarena and Zulema. Macarena nodded and pulled her top over her head, then she slipped into the sweater. Saray and Rizos did the same and Zulema carefully straightened herself to change clothes as well.

"How's your stomach?", asked Macarena while already changing her pants.

"Perfectly fine", said Zulema with a tight smile.

The blouse was taken off easily, but the top was something else; it was already challenging to get out of a tight top in a car if you didn't have a hole in your stomach – with such an injury it was at least five times as hard. She had to move in slow motion to not cry out in pain and even by doing so, putting her hands over her head and pulling the top over it was not easy at all. When she finally had it off she was panting and she had to lean back in her seat for a second to prevent herself from passing out.

When she felt a bit more steady again she sat up anew to put on the sweater but stopped when she saw Macarena watching her with an alarmed look on her face.

"What is it?", she asked irritatedly.

"It has bled through the bandage", said Macarena, pointing at Zulema's stomach.

The brunette looked down as well. Macarena was right; there was a red spot as big as the bottom of a bottle spreading across the bandage.

"Well done, _gitana",_ said Zulema while carefully moving her hand across the reddened bandage to see if it was drenched or just slightly wet. She came to the conclusion that it wasn't too bad since the blood didn't instantly rub off on her fingers; but not too good, either.

Saray turned around, her eyes darkening when she saw the blood.

"Oh shit", she said.

"Let me see", said Macarena, already leaning forward to take off the bandage, but Zulema stopped her.

"It's fine", said the burnette fast, catching Macarena's hand in the air before the blonde could touch her. The blonde shot her a reproachful look. "Look at when we're inside if you can't be stopped, but we shouldn't stay out here much longer", added Zulema. She knew that otherwise, Macarena would consist on looking at it right now.

"Fine", said Macarena. She freed her hand out of Zulema's grip and grabbed the reamaining sweater laying on the seat between them instead.

"Try not to move too much", she added, holding out the sweater to Zulema.

The brunette took it out of Macarena's hand and nodded curtly, then she slipped her arms inside the fabric and slowly pulled it over her head. Once she was finally done, she felt as if she had just run a marathon. Now the pants. She closed her eyes. To make everything abound, the painkillers now seemed to have lost their effect completely and her stomach burned. How nice that Saray thought this was even more fun than a trip to the mall. 

"Why don't you two go ahead to get the keys to the room", said Macarena, addressing Rizos and Saray who were already in their new clothes. "The woman on the phone said they'd be in a safe, number 578, same passwort. We'll come inside shortly."

Zulema didn't bother to open her eyes and therefore didn't catch the two women's reactions to that suggestion, the only thing she heard was a "Sure", from Saray and an approving sound from Rizos, then the doors of the car opened and closed again.

Zulema let out a breath. "You called someone?", she asked, opening her eyes to look at Macarena.

The blonde shrugged. "Used a phone at the gas station."

Zulema nodded. She would have done the same. Or stolen someone elses phone and thrown it into a river afterwards.

"Do you want me to wait outside for you?", asked the blonde.

Zulema bit her tounge. She wished she could say yes.

"Actually, I… could need some help." The words were hard to go over the lips.

Macarena blinked. "Alright", she said. "No problem. I really think you should avoid moving as much as possible, so maybe you could just pull these sweatpants over the ones you're wearing?"

"Yeah", said Zulema. "Should be alright."

She just wanted to take the pants from the seat between them but Macarena was faster, taking them into her hands and rolling up the pant legs.

"I'll lift your leg, just… lean against the window, maybe", said the blonde.

Zulema nodded and carefully moved until she felt the door of the car behind her back, then she leaned back until her head touched the cold window. When Macarena lifted her leg she bit her tounge, otherwise she would have cried out in agony. The blonde must have seen her face contorting and paused.

"Should I stop?"

"God, no, just do it and stop talking", said Zulema between gritted teeth.

Macarena did as Zulema said and somehow managed to put on the pants without causing the brunette too much pain. Or her pain sensitivity was just slowly declining. She didn't know.

When the blonde was done Zulema opened her eyes and briefly wiped over her cheeks.

"Fuck", she said, still a little bit out of breath. Macarena was watching her tensely while stuffing their old clothes into the plastic bag, then she opened the door on her side of the car.

"Don't move, I'm coming around", she said, then she got out of the car, walking around the rear and slowly opening the door behind Zulema.

The brunette adjusted her position just enough so the blonde could open the door and was genuinely glad when she felt Macarena's arms slip under her shoulders. The blonde carefully pulled her up and somehow Zulema got out of the car without screaming out loud. Macarena swiftly adjusted the grip she had on Zulema, then she kicked the door shut and slowly started walking. Zulema stumbled beside her, trying to walk as best as she could on her own. The best just wasn't very good.

"I don't even know what's worse, the pain or the shame", said Zulema between clipped breaths.

"I guess you'll have to live with both", said Macarena.

"How encouraging."

"Glad I sent the others ahead?", asked the blonde, turning her face a bit to look at Zulema and cracking a smile.

Zulema snorted. "Best decision you ever made."

"I think there were quite a lot descisions I've made that were…-"

"Don't push it, _rubia_!"

Macarena chuckled. And despite the pain, Zulema felt a smile tugging on her lips as well.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for more than 1000 hits - I'm so happy that so many of you show interest in this fic!  
> Enjoy the chapter!

It was well past midnight when Maca woke up. She was laying with her head turned to the window and the brightly shining moon must have caused her awakening, so she turned onto her other side to avoid being kept awake by the light. She almost had her eyes closed again when she noticed Zulema's body next to hers shaking. The blonde popped herself up on her upper arm to take a closer look at the other woman; her whole body was indeed trembling while her hands were resting on her freshly bandaged stomach.

Macarena had, with the support of Saray who had insisted on helping, changed Zulema's bled through bandage once they had made it to the small room the four of them were sharing. There was one bunk bed on the wall left of the window and a double bed opposite of it and since Zulema had barely been able to stand anymore when they had arrived at the room, Maracena had helped her lower herself on the double bed that semmed at least a bit more comfortable than the narrow, creaking bunk bed.

During the procedure of stitching the wound together anew, Zulema had hardly had the strength left to cry out and only occasionaly moaned in obvious pain. The stitching luckily hadn't taken too long, though, and Macarena had been relieved when they were done. They had then given Zulema two painkillers, waited for a few minutes in which they had washed their bloodied hands in the small bathroom attached to their room, and had eventually helped Zulema to get a bit more comfortable on the bed, to which the brunette surprisingly had said nothing. Macarena suspected that she was just too physically exhausted to even complain anymore which had quite honestly frightened the blonde.

Zulema had already had her eyes closed and suddenly, with the adrenalin slowly declining, Macarena had felt an overwhelming tiredness as well and had wanted nothing more than sleep. Out of the corner of her eye she had seen Rizos watching her intensly. but Macarena had known what she would want from her and she just hadn't felt like she could deal with the curly haired woman's affection towards her that night. So she had let herself fall onto the empty side of the double bed next to Zulema, not looking at Rizos once but at Saray instead.

"You two fine with the bunk bed?", she had asked, but it was nothing more than a curtesy question.

Saray had shrugged. "Why not."

Macarena had nooded and slipped under the blanket. A few minutes later Saray had switched off the light and darkness had enveloped them, pulling Macarena into the much desired sleep.

Now, however, she couldn't even think of going back to sleep, with Zulema shaking like a leaf right next to her.

"Zulema", she whispered. The brunette didn't react. Her body kept on trembling. Macarena moved a bit closer to the other woman to take a look at her face. It was covered in light sweat and behind Zulema's closed lids Macarena could see her eyes twitching.

"Zulema", she repeated, this time a bit louder. Still no reaction. Macarena sat upright and put one hand on Zulema's trembling shoulder.

The other woman woke with a start; her eyes shot open and her body tensed under Macarena's touch. She attempted to turn around but the slightest move made her hiss and she froze. It was not the first time that Macarena felt as if she were dealing with a wild animal.

"It's just me, calm down, Zulema. It's just me", said Macarena while slightly exerting pressure on Zulemas shoulder to have the other woman realize that it was just her, indeed.

The brunette's breath slowly normalized and her eyes fluttered shut again.

"Fuck", she mumbled. "Don't do this to me, _rubia_."

"I'm sorry", said Macarena, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "You were shaking. I just feared it might be your wound so I woke you up."

Zulema took a deep breath, then she slowly turned around until she was laying on her back. Her dark eyes focussed on Macarena. They glistened in the dark like uncut diamonds.

"The wound is fine, I guess", said the brunette, her voice rough.

"You didn't look fine a few minutes ago", countered Macarena.

Zulema kept her eyes on Macarena. For a moment it seemed like she wanted to make a snide comment but then something in her gaze changed and she briefly looked away.

"It's just… I have bad dreams. Nightmares. Must have been one."

That was not what Macarena had expected.

"Oh", she said, because she didn't really know how to react to that. "Like, always? Each night?"

Zulema sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it." Her face was only weakly illuminated by the moon shining through the window but Macarena could see the pain contorting her features nevertheless.

"Maybe talking about it helps you."

Zulema flashed her a small, sad smile. "Certainly not."

"How do you know when you never talk about it?"

"I just know it. Now shut up and go back to sleep."

Macarena clenched her jaw but said nothing else. She let herself sink into the pillow again, turned around, facing the moon anew and forced her eyes close. It's not like she had wanted to intrude the brunette's privacy by asking her about her dreams, of course not; she had just wanted to help her, like so often, but yet Zulema seemed to see any of her actions as an invasion of privacy, pulling up her walls as soon as Macarena said as much as a word. It was exhausting, really.

"They're about my daughter."

Alright, maybe this time the walls hadn't come up fast enough. Zulema's voice was barely more than a whisper and Macarena had to turn her head a bit to fully undertstand the brunette when she continued.

"Every single dream is about her. She was so innocent. So pure. And they killed her. They just killed her, because of me. She died because of me and now she haunts me in my dreams." Zulema's voice broke during the last sentence.

Macarena felt her chest tighten. She had heard about Zulema's daughter, of course she had, the whole prison had been talking about it when she had gotten back from the hospital. And she had seen the spot of dried blood that Zulema had sat next to, for days and nights, they had told her. And she had, of course, heard why she had died, her only fault laying in being Zulema's daughter. It was no wonder that this was haunting Zulema.

Macarena slowly turned around to face Zulema again. The brunette was still laying on her back, staring at the ceiling with her eyes wide open. A single tear ran across her cheek, illuminated by the moon that made it seem as if it were liquid silver.

"When my parents died, I had dreams like that, too", Macarena said quietly. "The pain, the guilt. It just all comes together. I wished I would never have to sleep again, but I did. And after some time, it became easier."

Zulema's chest trembled and her breath catched as if she were suppressing a sob. Macarena just watched her for a second; her glassy eyes, her wet cheeks and her shaking body. She had never seen Zulema that vulnerable before. It was scarier than her wrath.

"Is there anything I can do?", asked Macarena.

Zulema shook her head. "No." Her lip trembled. Then she turned away from Macarena and the blonde was left staring at the brunette's occasionally shaking back.

Seeing Zulema like that – so broken, so _human_ – shook the blonde to the core. And she just couldn't bare the thought of the brunette falling back asleep just to return to those nightmares, because Macarena did indeed know what that dreams did to you; they were destructive, to both mind and body and she just couldn't _bare it_. 

When the next sob made Zulema's body tremble, Macarena had enough. Without further ado and without caring about what the brunette would think about it, Macarena slowly let her arm sink on Zulema's shaking side. The brunette's body stiffened at the contact and Zulema was already on the verge of shrugging Macarena's hand off, the blonde could feel it, but then her muscels relaxed under her touch and Zulema let out a faltering breath.

"It's fine", said Macarena, relieved that her attempt of consoling had not backfired. "I'm here. Just breathe. In and out. It's alright. Try to sleep, I'll wake you up if I notice you're dreaming again."

Zulema breathed, in and out, her side rising and falling under Macarena's touch.

"That's it", Macarena whispered. "Try to sleep. Everything is alright."

It took some more minutes until Zulema's breath was evenly enough for Macarena to assume the brunette was asleep. Her hand rested comfortably on Zulema's waist and after around half an hour later, Macarena felt herself slowly drifting asleep as well.

She did not wake again that night and neither did Zulema.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter already because I had a lot of time and nothing to do, so there you go! :)

When Macarena woke up the next morning, the first thing she noticed was the soft blanket unde her right hand. The hand that had previously rested on Zulema's waist.

Her body shot upright instantly and she had to squeez her eyes shut when the gleaming sun was blinding her momentarily. When she opened them again she saw herself face to face with Rizos, who wore a towel around her body and a smile on her lips.

"Good morning", the curly haired woman said.

"Morning", murmured Macarena. Her eyes darted through the room; from the bathroom she could hear Saray humming a melody to some song but from Zulema there was no sign.

"Where is Zulema", she asked. 

Rizos shrugged. "Went outside a couple of minutes ago. Said she wanted to have some fresh air or something like that."

Macarena swore under her breath and quickly got out of bed. "And you just let her go like that? Alone?"

Rizos furrowed her brow and pulled a grimace. "It's not like she would have listened to any of us, would she? Neither of us is her nanny or something, it's not our responsibility to watch out for her. If she comes back – good. If not – fine with me as…" She did not manage to finish her sentence because Macarena interrupted her, her blood boiling.

"Yeah, would it also be fine with you if the police caught her, leading them right to us?", she asked.

Rizos' funny expression wavered and got replaced by a serious one. "She's probably just outside the door, Maca. You said yourself that they wouldn't catch up to us that soon, so what's the matter with you?"

Macarena just shook her head, pulled on her shoes and was already on her way to the door.

"Seriously, what's the matter with you?", repeated Rizos, louder this time but Macarena didn't answer and just pulled the door open.

She had no clue what time it was but the sun was just barely to be seen between the trees so she suspected that it was still quite early in the morning. The door to their room led directly onto a small patio right infront of the forest with a small group of chairs in the middle of it. And in one of those chairs sat, the feet carelessly resting on the table in front of her and in her hand a smoking cigarrette, Zulema. She had the hood of her sweater pulled over her head and was facing the forest but Macarena had no doubt that it was her.

She closed the door to their room behind her and made her way to the brunette. Hearing her steps, Zulema turned around.

" _Rubia_ ", she said, blowing smoke out of her mouth while speaking.

Macarena just nodded and stepped closer until she was standing right next to Zulema. The brunette glanced up to her and held out her hand with the cigarrette in it.

"Want a drag?", she asked.

"No, thanks. Where did you get those?"

Zulema smirked, leading the cigarette back to her mouth.

"Found them in the drawer of our room while searching for painkillers. But this is nearly as good."

Macarena lowered herself onto the table Zulema's feet were laying upon.

"The painkillers are in the bathroom", she said. Zulema did a motion between a shrug and a nod.

"Did you sleep well?"

Zulema's eyes shot up, her gaze piercing.

"I was on meds", she said. "Just forget what happened last night. I should never have told you any of that."

Macarena held the brunette's gaze. This time, she wouldn't be the one giving in.

"I think it was good that you told me."

"I don't"

"Did you sleep better afterwards?"

Zulema averted her gaze from Macarena and the blonde couldn't help smiling triumphically.

"I guess I did", said Zulema, her eyes directed at the woods. She took one last drag from the cigarrette, then she squeezed the stub on the table.

"I'm glad to hear that", said Macarena and she was serious about it. Seeing Zulema the way she had been last night had been horrendous, to say the least. 

"How is your stomach?"

Zulema let out an exasperated sigh and directed her face at Macarena again. "It's as good as a ripped open stomach can be. Satisfied?"

Macarena pushed herself off the table, shaking her head at Zulema's comments that were as cynical as ever.

"Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. Would you mind coming back inside so we can discuss what we're doing next?"

She heard Zulema mumble something indistinctive but was already on her way back to their room and she didn't bother asking what she had said.

"Come inside or stay here. I just thought you would want to weigh in as well."

There was another murmur, then the sound of slow, uneven steps on the gravel beneath their feet. Macarena slowed her pace to make the brunette catch up to her when something made her stop in her tracks. Their room was on the right side of the building, as was the patio; on the right side of that was the parking lot on which just now a silver car had stopped. A car that looked nothing like the average vehicles of the other motel guests. The doors of the silver car opened and it took Macarena less than a bare second to identify the driver that threw the door shut and instantly made his way to the motel. It was then that their gazes met. Fabio.

"What the fuck", hissed Zulema in her ear, grabbing hold of Macarena's arm while doing so. "You called _him_?"

"No", Macarena whispered. "I did not."

"Okay. That's even worse", mumbled the brunette, and she was right.

Macarens hadn't called Fabio, the thought hadn't even crossed her mind in the slightest and yet he was _here_ which meant that he found them. Which meant that others would find them as well. Or maybe they already had. 

The two women stood frozen in front of their door; Macarena because she was too struck by the sudden appearance of her former love-affair to make a move and Zulema presumably because the lack of painkillers did indeed have some effect on the brunette. That was at least what her tight grip on Macarena's arm indicated. Fabio came closer, walked faster was nearly running when he reached them.

"Maca", he breathed when he came to a halt in front of them. "God, I… I actually found you. Are the others here as well?"

"Fabio, I…-" She didn't come further than this because Zulema interrupted her.

"None of your fucking business", snapped the brunette, pushing Macarena a bit aside to get Fabio's attention. The man's eyes darkened when he focussed the brunette.

"What are you doing here?", asked Zulema.

Fabio's jaw tensed but he did his best to ignore the brunette and directed his gaze at Macarena again.

"Let's talk alone, Maca", he said, glancing uneasily at the parking lot behind them. "Someone may have followed me."

"Followed you. I… Fabio, what are you even doing here, really? How did you find us?"

"I heard about your escape, Castillo told me. He wants you free, Maca, and I want the same, you know that. That's what we always wanted, isn't it? I swear, nobody knows about me or you being here. I didn't tell anyone. It's just… this place came to my mind because you once told me about it's remoteness and I figured that you might come here. I'm here to help you, please, just… trust me and come with me."

Macarena felt her breath fasten. She had forgotten that she had told Fabio about this place; it had been when they were planning their own escape, back in _Cruz del Sur_. In a way, going with Fabio was what she always had wanted, wasn't it? A life with Fabio – free? She had wanted that so much, more than anything. But did she still?

"Don't fall for that shit", snarled Zulema into Macarena's ear.

"You shut the fuck up or I make you", Fabio bursted out, seemingly fed up with Zulema's comments.

"Please", Macarena said, her voice louder than both Zulema's and Fabio's. "This is not about you and me anymore, Fabio", she continued, this time with a quieter tone of voice. "We're four of us. And we'll pull this through together. I have made promises, too."

Fabio stared at her incredulously. Then he shook his head. "Can't we just have a conversation under four eyes about it?"

Zulema snorted. "Just say that you want to fuck her one last time before you turn us all over to the police."

Neither Zulema nor Macarena saw the punch coming. Fabios fist came out of nowhere and connected so suddenly with Zulema's face that Macarena only understood what was happening when the brunette hunched over, one hand on her nose and the other one still clinging to Macarena's arm. Macarena went down with her, instantly dropping to her knees and supporting Zulema's shoulder with a firm grip, so the other woman wouldn't lose her balance completely. Fabio stood above them, shaking out his fist.

"What the hell, Fabio!", Macarena cried out. "Have you lost your mind?"

Zulema was slightly moaning and wiped her bleeding nose. She slowly loosened the grip she had on Macarena's arm and let her hand sink onto her stomach instead.

"Fuck", she groaned. "I think, I have to throw up."

"Oh, come on", Fabio said. "It was just a punch."

"It always is, isn't it?", Zulema said, slowly lowering herself comletely onto the ground until she was kneeling. Macarena watched her cautiously and didn't let go of her, fearing that the brunette might lose consciousness and fall onto the ground if she did.

"There is no way that I'm going with you", Macarena said, her voice vibrating with both anger and emotion. She stared at Fabio with eyes that could have burned holes.

"Have _you_ lost your mind?", asked Fabio. "They are searching for you everywhere. It is only a matter of time until they find you, all of you."

"Then that's how it is", she said with a stern tone of voice. "But I won't let the others down. If you're so keen on helping me keep my freedom, you'll need to help us all."

It was then that the door to their room was thrown open. In the doorframe stood Saray, behind her Rizos.

"Maca, Zulema, what…-" Saray's eyes fell on Fabio and she backed away, nearly crashing into Rizos behind her. "What the fuck?", she said, her eyes wide.

Fabio moved his hand across his face and briefly closed his eyes. "I may be able to help you all out. I… can't we please talk about this inside, I really don't think a parking lot is the best place for a conversation of that kind."

Macarena was conflicted. On the one had, she didn't even want Fabio's help, not after everything that had happened. She didn't want to owe him something and she certainly didn't want to feel oblidged to pay him back in any sort of way. But on the other hand they really could need help. And on top of it, who ensured that Fabio wouldn't run straight to the police once she'd send him away, out of anger about the rejection? And maybe he could indeed help them.

"Fine", Macarena said, sighing. "Let's talk about it inside."

Fabio nodded and let out a relieved breath, then he followed Saray inside who was still eyeing him suspiciously.

"He literally nearly broke my nose and tore that stupid wound open again and you ask him inside?", muttered Zulema under her breath.

"We can need help, can't we?"

Zulema groaned when Macarena helped her get up. Once they both stood, Zulema glanced at Macarena from the side. "You could have agreed to go with him. Just the two of you."

Macarena shrugged. She knew that. "That's not who I am anymore." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Fabio is back - but Maca doesn't seem too happy about it ;)  
> I just thought his presence would add some dynamic to the story, don't you think?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, to begin with; I hope you are okay after last night's episode of El Oasis - I don't know about you, but I was actually in tears.   
> But here is a new chapter in which Zulema still is very much alive and there are some Zurena feelings on top of it, so enjoy :)

Once they were inside and the door fell shut behind them, Zulema shrugged Macarena off and went straight to the bathroom. There was the sound of water spilling into the sink and the crackling of pills being pushed out of their packaging to be heard.

Fabio watched the closed door to the bathroom with a frown.

"What's wrong with her?", he asked. 

"None of your business", said Saray who had her arms crossed in front of her chest, staring at Fabio resentfully.

Fabio curtly nodded. "Alright then, I think…-"

"We wait until Zulema's back", Macarena interrupted. Fabio's eyes flared up when their gazes met but Macarena didn't care if her behaviour angered him; if it were up to her, he shouldn't even have come here in the first place.

The door to the bathroom opened again and Zulema stepped through the frame. The blood from her nose was gone, she must have washed it off; instead there was already a slight, purple discoloration to be seen on her left cheek, marking the sport where Fabio's fist had hit her. She walked slowly towards Macarena, who was sitting on the double bed, and the blonde could see by the way Zulema was carefully placing one foot in front of the other that she did not want Fabio to see how much she was really struggling in hiding a limp. But he did see, of course.

"What happened?", he asked, following Zulema's slow movements with his eyes.

Zulema pulled a grimace and cautiously let herself down on the bed beside Macarena.

"Don't even hope for your punch being the cause of this", she said, directing her eyes at Fabio once she sat. "Bruising a woman? That's pathetic in every way, really."

When he continued staring at her she pulled her lips back, showing him her teeth. "What? I won't tell you what happened, so stop staring. That's nearly as bad as punching."

"Alright", Macarena cut in, in order to evite having another fight arise between the brunette and Fabio. "Fabio says he's here to help us", she continued, adressing Saray and Rizos who were standing next to the bunk bed.

"Help us", Saray muttered and shook her head. "Why would he help us, huh? I bet he got some microphone hidden in his pants and a GPS up his ass that will have the police come here every second."

The _gitana_ took a look out of the window as if she feared policemen coming up while they were speaking, but there was no one to be seen.

"That won't happen", Fabio said. "I understand your mistrust, but I came here on my own. Castillo informed me about what had happened and this place just came to my mind. I just had luck to find you at the first place I was checking out. Maca, you know that Castillo wanted to free you, he told me everything about what happened the day of the riot."

He looked at Macarena like a pleading dog. Pleading to be understood. To be trusted. To be loved. Zulema's voice echoed in her head. _Pathetic._ He really was. But at least his remarks proved that he had indeed talked to Castillo, otherwise he wouldn't be able to know about what had happened between herself and the now retired inspector during the day of the riot.

"Alright", she said. "Let's suppose I believe you; what could you offer us?"

Fabio stared at her as if she had slapped him.

"Offer you?", he repeated. "What is this, a business negotiation?"

"Answer the question", said Rizos from her spot next to Saray.

Fabio shook his head, snorting as he did so. "Who do you even think you are to…-"

"Answer the question, damn it", Zulema snarled.

Fabio clenched his jaw. "I have some guns in my car", he said reluctantly. "And I… I might know a place where you could stay at. At least for a time."

"What kind of…-", started Macarena, but her sentence was cut off by Zulema.

"No", said the brunette.

Fabio sighed and put his hands on his hips, looking at Zulema expectingly.

Macarena turned to the brunette. "We could at least listen…-", she started, but Zulema interrupted her again.

"No", she repeated, her gaze still directed at Fabio. When the man only raised his brows, Zulema pushed herself off the bed and slowly made her way to Fabio.

"I don't trust you one bit", she said, walking towards him like a lion circling a zebra. "Because I don't like you. In fact, I hate you, but who cares, let's stick to the facts. You come here, less than 12 hours after we arrived at this place and the first thing you do is punch me right in the face. Alright. Then, you say you want to help us, when, in fact, the only one you want to help is your dear, sweet Maca, isn't that true?"

Zulema raised her brows, looking at Fabio with wide eyes and coming to a halt right in front of him.

"And now, you want to make us believe that you, a former police officer, fighting for law and order, will be our saviour in need, getting us all to a safe place that no one will find? Really, I always knew you were stupid but this is a new level, even for you."

Fabio straightened his spine and Macarena was already fearing that he would hit the brunette again but this time he seemed to control himself.

"I couldn't care less about your trust in me, Zulema?", he said, spitting out her name like a curse. "In fact, if you don't trust me, even better – I won't have to deal with you much longer, then. Because I don't know what happened on your escape, but you do not seem like you can take on the dozen of policemen that will catch you if you don't leave this place soon and get somewhere else."

"I would rather be catched by the police than seek shelter with you."

Fabio let out a laugh. "No, you wouldn't."

"Yes, I would."

This was leading nowhere. Macarena stood up.

"Zulema, would you mind coming outside for a second?", she said, pointing towards the door.

The brunette slightly pushed her jaw forward, her gaze still focussed on Fabio.

"Do not let him out of your sight", she snarled, clearly addressing Rizos and Saray with that, then she went ahead of Macarena and pushed the door open.

The blonde followed her and carefully closed the door behind her once she was outside as well. Looking up, she saw Zulema watching her with that provocative expression that made the blonde's blood run hot each time she saw herself confronted with it.

"What?", said the brunette, crossing her arms in front of her chest which just added to the provocative effect. "Does he already got you? With his puppy eyes and his soft words?"

"Not at all", said Macarena sternly, irritated that the brunette would think that. "But we could at least listen to what he has to offer before telling him that he's stupid, don't you think?" 

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because he is a prick."

"That's not an argument."

"I just laid out all my arguments when we were inside, were you too distracted by his beautiful face or why didn't you listen?"

Macarena opened her mouth in disbelief. "I was not and I did hear what you said, I just still think he could help us."

Zulema snorted. "Yeah. I knew that you would go with him, eventually."

Macarena wanted to throw something against a wall to stimulate her arising anger. "I didn't even say that, Zulema, I only said that we should at least _listen_ to what he's got to offer, God damn it!" She knew that she should try to keep her voice down but with her rage her voice's volume rose as well. 

"And I said that I do not want to hear what he has to say because I will not go to any place this imbecile knows of!"

Macarena had to turn away from the brunette for a second to collect herself. She took a breath. Deep down, she knew that Zulema was right; it would be dangerous going to a place Fabio knew of. Macarena herself would take that risk, because right now, she couldn't think of something better. But she knew Zulema – by now far better than she would have ever thought – and she knew that Zulema wouldn't change her mind.

A year ago, Macarena wouldn't even have thought twice; she would have gone with Fabio, happily leaving Zulema behind and not even caring about what would happen to her in the slightest. But today things were different. A lot had happened between the two of them – and today, Macarena would not go with Fabio and have Zulema stay behind. Because today, she did care about what happened to the brunette.

"Fine", Macarena said, turning to face Zulema again. "We won't go with him, then."

Zulema looked at her incredulously. "What?"

"I said that this is about us, not about him. If you're not comfortable with going with him, then neither of us will. Or I won't, at least; I don't know about the others, of course, but I doubt that they would put their trust in him, anyway." She shrugged.

"You aren't serious."

A smile crept on Macarena's face. "Yes, I am."

Zulema let out a laugh. "Shit", she said, leading one hand to her forehead. "Did he fuck you that badly?"

Macarena opened her mouth in feigned deprecation. "That's none of your business", she said. Then, she laughed as well. And once again found herself wondering about how quickly conversations with this woman could make a 180 degree turn; both verbally and emotionally, from insults to laughter, from anger to like-mindedness – at least in a way.

Zulema's laughter quietened, as did Macarena's, and the two women just stood there, looking at each other.

"You really are something, _rubia_ ", Zulema said, her eyes glistening in the sun that had by now risen above the treetops.

Macarena nodded into her direction. "As are you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter - enjoy!

When they stepped back inside the small room, it seemed as if they hadn't even left it; Fabio was still standing in the middle of the room, his arms crossed in front of his chest, while Saray and Rizos were standing next to the bunk bed just as before.

Macarena was walking ahead of Zulema and positioned herself in front of Fabio. The brunette followed her a few steps behind. She still could not believe that it actually had been that easy to come to an agreement with the blonde; she had nearly been sure that Macarena would insist on going with Fabio, because it was safe or beneficial or whatever – what she had not expected was the blonde giving in that fast. Zulema had seen how in love Macarena had been with Fabio, back in _Cruz del Sur_. Not that she would have cared, obviously, but considering that former affection, it was really astonishing to Zulema that Macarena would now just ditch him like that. And for what? For them? The longer Zulema thought about it, the less sense it seemed to make. So maybe she should just stop thinking about it and just accept it.

"I'm thankful for your offer, Fabio, I really am", said Macarena, pulling Zulema out of her thoughts. "But I don't think it's possible for us to stay at a location that is known to you at the moment, I'm sorry."

God, why would she apologise for that? This woman was really too polite.

Fabio's eyes narrowed and flickered to Zulema. "She decided that?", he asked while nodding into the brunette's direction. _Well_ , _here we go again._

" _We_ decided that", Macarena said, her voice calm.

"Sure. Which means that _she_ decided and you are still stupid enough, even after everything that happened, to go along with her decision."

"How can you even say…-"

"Save your breath, Maca", Zulema interrupted her. She was so sick of this man, it wasn't bearable anymore. She took two steps forward until she was standing next to Macarena and leveled her eyes on Fabio who was watching her with an almost longing expression, as if he had just waited for her to speak up.

"When she said we decided something together, then that's how it is", Zulema said. "So, if you don't want to end up with either my fist or my foot in your face, you better shut up and accept what she's telling you instead of behaving like a teenanger who just got rejected by his highschool-crush."

"I've told you to watch your tounge, _hija de puta",_ Fabio said, his voice cold as ice. And his patience seemingly thin as ice.

When his hand shot up this time, Zulema did see it coming; he was aiming for her neck and surely wanted to tighten his hands about her throat but this time, Zulema was more than ready to punch back, but before either of them could get the other one into his hands, Macarena suddenly shot forward, positioning herself right in front of Zulema. Her right hand shot out, giving Fabio a push against the chest, while her left hand closed around Zulema's wrist that had just shot up to repay Fabio for that punch earlier. The man stumbled backwards, stunned at both Macarena's sudden reaction itself and the impact it had transferred.

"Don't you dare touch her again, Fabio, I swear to God", Macarena snarled.

Zulema's brows slightly rose; if the agreement between the two of them had come as a surprise to her, then this could be viewed as a shock. A threat against Fabio, in favor of her, Zulema? Sometimes she really wonderred if the blonde's brain had taken any damage the doctors hadn't noticed in the hospital.

Out of the corner of her eye, Zulema could see Saray and Rizos now slowly coming closer as well; the _gitana_ gently brushed against the brunette's shoulder while passing by and flashed her a small, reassuring smile, then she crossed her arms in front of her chest and directed her gaze at Fabio who was standing straight again by now.

"What the hell, Maca?" Fabio's eyes wandered over the four of them and a scornful smile appeared on his lips. "Who are you now, _'The Four Musketeers'_ or what? One for all and all for one?"

"It's called _'The Three Musketeers'_ ", said Zulema, pulling her wrist out of Macarena's hand that was still holding on to it and slightly pushing the blonde aside to face Fabio again. "So, no, that's not quite who we are."

Fabio closed his eyes. His jaw clenched and Zulema could have sworn she heard his teeth grind. This man really had some aggression problems that could need treatment.

"Alright", he said curtly. "You don't want my help. Have I understood that correctly?"

"Yes", Saray said, frowning at Fabio.

"Okay", Fabio said, taking a breath. "Fine. Your desicion. I hope you won't regret it."

Somehow, Zulema had the impression that he in fact did hope that they would regret it.

Macarena just nodded.

"I suppose, I'll… go, then?", Fabio asked, leading one hand to his stubbly beard and looking at Macarena.

The blonde put her hands on her waist. "I guess that would be best."

Fabio nodded. "Yeah." He looked to the ground. Then, suddenly his head jerked up again.

"Actually, Castillo gave me something I should hand you over if I found you", he said, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a small, brown package. He held it out to Macarena and the blonde hesitantly took it out of his hands.

"Thank you", she said, her face not giving away any emotion.

Fabio nodded. "Alright, I'll be gone. Maybe one day we'll see each other again."

"Hopefully not", Zulema said, raising her chin. "Now go; and hope for the sake of your life that there won't be an armada of police officers arriving here once your gone."

Fabio ignored her comment and just turned around, making his way to the door.

"Hey", Saray called when he already had his hands on the door. "What about those guns you were talking about?"

Fabio turned around, a smirk on his face. "For that I'm good enough, ain't I?"

"Come on, don't be a pussy about it", Rizos said. "You don't need them anyway, do you?" 

Fabio sighed. "I guess I don't."

"Nice", Saray said, her eyes sparkling.

The _gitana_ accompanied Fabio to his car. When she came back, she was carrying a backpack on her shoulders from which a rattling sound could be heard.

"His visit was good for something now, at least", she said when placing the backpack on the floor in front of her and opening it; inside of it were four guns.

"I guess it was good for something else as well", Macarena voice came from the bed where she had opened the package Fabio had given her.

Zulema approached the blonde from behind; she had been standing at the door, opening it for Saray and watching Fabio until he had driven off completely.

"What is it?", she asked. The only thing she could see was a short letter in Macarena's hand which the blonde was reading. Then Zulema's eyes fell on the torn open package; and the purple banknotes inside of it.

"Fucking hell", she whispered, reaching out for the package and tearing it more open until the neatly packed fivehundred euro bills spilled out of it. They were stacked and tied together with rubber bands. And there were a lot of them.

"Stop kidding me", Saray said, snatching one stack of money and looking at it from all sides. "Seems real", she said, then she quickly scanned the rest of the notes on the bed and in the package. "This have got to be at least… a hundred thousand euro."

"Good eye", Macarena said. She looked up from the letter and let her gaze fall upon the money. "A hundred thousand euro."

"From Castillo?", Rizos asked, peering over Macarena's shoulder to have a look at the letter the blonde was still holding.

"From my father", Macarena said, handing the letter over to Rizos. "Castillo just kept it for me. He says my father wanted me to have it once I'm free."

"Fuck", Saray said. "You're rich, then."

"No", Macarena said, lifting her gaze and letting her eyes wander over them all. A small smile formed on her lips. "We're rich."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you said that they would like longer chapters, so I made this one a bit longer than the previous ones :)  
> It also contains quite a lot Zurena feelings, so I hope you're happy with it!

They had decided the first thing they would do was buy a new car, because driving around in a stolen one didn't really make it easier to go unnoticed by the police.

They had left the motel half an hour after Fabio was gone and when driving through a small down, they had spotted a store of a car dealer beside the road. The decision had fallen on a small, black car, similar to the stolen one but with the advantage of tinted windows. Macarena had payed and luckily the merchant was happy enough about the money to not ask them any questions.

Rizos and Saray had taken the new car and Zulema and Macarena the stolen one which they had then parked it in a small dirt road between corn fields where they hoped it wouldn't be too easy for the police to find. Saray and Rizos had helped them take all of their stuff from the stolen car to their new one, then Macarena had taken the driver's seat in the new car, Zulema had jumped on the passenger's seat and Saray and Rizos had gone on the back seat. 

Then, they had started driving. And finally, Zulema had started to feel at least a minimum of safety. They were moving again. They had money. They had guns. And for the first time since God knows how long, Zulema had felt an optimism arise within her that had almost made her smile. Almost.

Now, it was already late in the afternoon and the sun slowly started to settle. They were driving south, heading for the coast where Macarena said she knew of a campsite that also sold campers. The plan was to buy one and drive to a remote place where they could stay, for a time, at least. And then, they would drive ahead and settle somewhere else. Over and over again, because being out of prison didn't mean they were free; it meant they would be always on the run, constantly.

But for Zulema, that _was_ freedom. Maybe she just needed the adrenalin, the tension, the rush. Or maybe she just didn't know what real freedom was, because she had never really been free; even as a child, there was no time she could remember when she had actually felt like she was free, because she had always been _someone's_. Someone's daughter, someone's girlfriend, someone's betrothed. And eventually, after all these years that had already felt like being in a cage, had come actual prison.

How should she know what real freedom was, what it felt like, when she hadn't experienced it once in her life? She didn't know. But she did know that being on the run was the closest thing she would ever experience to freedom, so she _chose_ that this was freedom. She was driving in a legally bought car over a country road, the radio played some pop song and the road behind and in front of them was free; how could this not be viewed as freedom? She certainly viewed it as that, because she knew that it would never get any better than that. Not for her, at least. 

"I like that song", said Macarena, reaching out to turn up the volume.

Zulema rolled her eyes in annoyance. "I feared so."

Macarena just chuckled. It was a bland song, really, some guitar and drums in the background and the rough voice of a man singing along to it, but Macarena seemed to like it that much that she even hummed along to it.

Zulema ran her hand over her face. "God", she said muffledly.

"What?", said Macarena. "Do I sing that badly?"

"No, great", Zulema muttered. "You should have considered a career in the music industry."

Now, it was Macarena who rolled her eyes. "Right", she said. "And you in the comedy industry."

Zulema let out a laugh. "Yeah, sure."

She took a look in the rearview mirror to check the street behind them; and saw Rizos and Saray sleeping.

"What the hell", she said, turning around to have a better look at the two who were both slouched across the back seat with their eyes closed. "It's not even night, how can they just fall asleep like that?"

"Some people do have the desire to sleep", Macarena said, a slight smile on her lips. "Leave them be, they're probably just exhausted."

Zulema turned back around and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Exhausted", she repeated. "They just had a full night's sleep, how can they still be exhausted?"

"Maybe they were just bored, then. You weren't really engaging the conversations, you know?"

Zulema looked at Macarena from the side. The blonde wore an almost mocking smile.

"Why should I?", Zulema said irritatedly. "If I'm not in the mood to talk, then I won't talk."

Macarena let out a laugh and shortly directed her gaze at Zulema before looking back at the street again. "And when are you ever in the mood to talk?"

She had a point, there. Zulema felt a smile tug on her lips. "Not right now, so shut up."

Macarena huffed, but her expression had something playful to it as well. "Like that would keep me from talking to you", she said.

Zulema snorted. "Yeah, I know that."

There was a short silence but Zulema knew that it wouldn't be long until the blonde would find something to annoy her with. She always did.

"Zulema."

No. Not one of those serious conversations. Those never promised something good. Zulema kept quiet. But Macarena did not.

"I was asking myself… Why did you really do it? Pull me out of that washing machine, I mean?"

There was nothing Zulema would have liked less to be topic of their conversation. "I already told you that, to kill you myself", she muttered.

"You would have had plenty opportunities to do so, don't you think?", Macarena asked. Her hand reached out for the radio again and she lowered the volume. "But you didn't."

Zulema took a breath. No, she didn't kill Macarena. Was that what she originally had had in mind when she pulled the blonde out of the washing machine? When she had begged her to live? She had always tried to tell that to herself, but would she really have killed the blonde?

"You want an honest answer?", Zulema asked, reaching out to the center console of the car and grabbing the package of cigarettes and the lighter she had taken from the motel.

"Yes", Macarena said. Zulema lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply while pulling on it.

"I don't know", Zulema said, filling the car with smoke that left her mouth while she spoke. She glanced at the blonde who was looking straight ahead at the street. "I guess my mind just stopped working or something. I just… I don't know, really. It was just an intense situation and I guess I just acted without thinking twice about it. That's it."

She shrugged and directed her eyes at the street again. It was true, she really didn't know why she acted the way she did. It would have been easy to let the blonde die like that, who had already been nearly dead and that not even at her own hands, but somehow, she hadn't wanted that. She had wanted her alive.

"Alright", Macarena said. She sighed. There was more she wanted to talk about, Zulema could sense it. "I was just thinking about it, you know?", the blonde continued. She took a breath. "And I… I wanted to tell you that I am sorry about what happened to you daughter, I really am."

Alright, there _was_ a topic that she liked less than the washing machine incident.

"Stop it, I don't want to…-"

"No please, let me finish", Macarena interrupted her. She shot Zulema a short glance but the brunette deliberately avoided looking at her.

"In prison, I said some things… that I want to take back. Like, when I said that you deserve everything bad that happens to you and that I won't pity you for the loss of your daughter. I am so, so sorry about those words, I really am and I wish I could take them back. I just wanted you to know that."

Now Zulema turned to looked at the blonde. Seeing the brunette shift in her seat, Macarena shot her a glance that seemed determined and apologising at the same time.

"Alright", Zulema said. "Now I know."

Macarena shook her head. "No, don't do this. Don't shut down again."

Zulema questioningly raised her hands. "What do you expect me to say?"

"Just something, but don't be… like that."

"Like _what_?"

"Like that emotionless person who I know you aren't!"

The cigarette was burned down. Zulema threw it out of the window. "You don't know who I am", she said, malcontent about how this conversation was evolving.

"Maybe not fully, no, but I know what I saw last night, Zulema, and I know what I saw the night before the prison riot. And that were emotions. And there's nothing wrong with that, not at all, but that's how I know that this issue touches you and that's why I wanted to make clear that I didn't mean those things I said."

"Yeah. Fine."

Macarena shook her head. "Fine", she echoed.

"What?"

"Just say how you feel about it, for God's sake, it can't be that hard!"

"Well, for me it is", Zulema snapped. She was really growing tired of this. "I'm not like you, Macarena, I don't fancy walking around and telling every single soul on this planet what I'm feeling and why I do so."

"But you could tell _me_ ", Macarena countered. "It helped you last night, didn't it?" 

"I already told you to forget about…-"

"Well, I can't forget about it, alright? I can't and I won't."

Zulema saw Macarena's hands tighten around the steering wheel.

"Why?"

"Because I care."

The words hit Zulema like a punch, taking her breath away and stunning her for a moment.

"You _what_?"

Macarena's eyes flickered towards her. "I care about you, God damn it. I thought that was obvious."

Zulema was at a loss for words. "But… why?", she blurted out.

"Why? Because I'm a human being that cares about others. You included."

"Shit", Zulema said, burying her face in her hands and letting out a laugh. "Are you even listening to yourself?"

Macarena said nothing and just continued staring at the street.

Zulema shook her head, still laughing. "I can't believe this", she said. "You _care_ about me. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, _rubia,_ and I've heard a lot of shit in my life, believe me."

"Yeah", the blonde murmured. "Just as ridiculous as you pulling me out of that washing machine, I guess."

Zulema stopped laughing. Macarena was staring at the street as if her eyes were glued to the asphalt, her facial expression giving away nothing.

"I'm not good with emotions, Maca, you know that", Zulema said, her voice calm even though internally, she felt as if the blonde had set her aflame. "Being emotional never leads to anything."

The blonde shook her head. "It does. Your just too afraid to let it come that far. To let emotions take over."

"Whenever they did, it ended to my disadvantage, so why should I take that risk?", Zulema said, the words tasting bitter on her tounge.

"Because you are human as well, Zulema, even though you're sometimes trying to make others believe that you aren't, and humans feel things. You can't always suppress those feelings."

"Yes, I can", Zulema said. She cleared her throat when her voice came out rough.

"You know you can't", Macarena said, almost snarling. "You're running from yourself when your running from your emotions and you can't outrun yourself."

Running. Those words took Zulema aback. Running, like she had been doing it all her life. Running from everyone – even herself. Maybe it weren't just other people that were keeping her from being free; maybe it was herself. Because she knew that even if she were completely on her own, untied from every other person, she would still be running. Internally, at least.

And she hated that Macarena knew that as well. Because that meant that the blonde did indeed know and understand her, at least to some degree. And she despised her for that.

"Apart from that, emotions don't just make you weak; in fact, they make you even stronger once you let them in", Macarena said, ignoring the brunette's silence.

"They certainly do not."

Macarena let out a sigh. "Yeah, whatever. Keep telling yourself that, but one day you'll realise that I'm right."

"Won't let it come that far", Zulema mumbled.

"Fine, nevermind, then."

Zulema didn't know whether it was rage or despair she was feeling towards Macarena's words right now. It was ironic, really; maybe she would know what she was feeling if she just did what Macarena was telling her – stop trying to suppress her emotions. But she couldn't. Because she always had done so, it was like a chest that she had closed early in her life and thrown away the keys to it.

Maybe she would be able to open it again, one day, and maybe then she would understand Macarena. Or maybe the emotions would just burst out of it, regardless of how hard she tried to oppress them. Because deep down, that was what she really feared; that she would allow herself to give in to those feelings, at least to a few of them, and that the rest would just overrun her like a wave that couldn't be stopped, splashing out of that chest and coming down at her with an unstoppable force.

But until then, until that inevitable moment, she would keep running. Because that's what she had always done. Run. 


	16. Chapter 16

"This place is perfect", said Macarena, standing in front of their newly bought trailer and looking at the forest surrounding them.

They had decided to settle close to a forest at first, but agreed that after two weeks they would move ahead, maybe even earlier than that if the circumstances forced them to.

Buying the trailer had been easier than they had expected it to be; the owner of the campsite had happily shown them his discarded trailers and they had bought the biggest of those in which up to six people could find a place to sleep if, so it would hopefully be big enough for the four of them. It had cost them a ridiculous low sum and after buying some groceries, that would be enough for the next few weeks, at a remote, small shop, they had taken a look at a map to figure out where to settle first. The desicion had fallen on the edge of a forest where no paths or whatsoever indicated a high amount of tourists or hikers coming along.

It did seem perfect, even Zulema had to admit that. She would have preferred moving to a country with less proximity to Spain, but the others had argued that crossing a border right now would be too dangerous since they were surely wanted not only in Spain, but in the nearby countries as well, and they were right with that.

So now, they were here. Camping like they were a group of college friends that celebrated their reunion. Maybe that would be a plausible story they could tell someone if they were seen at this remote place. But hopefully, it wouldn't come to that.

"Yes, it is", said Rizos, stepping beside Macarena and grinning from one ear to the other. "It's so beautiful. And just imagine all those sunrises and sunsets we'll witness here." She nudged Macarena's arm. "Romantic, don't you think."

Zulema rolled her eyes and leaned against the side of their car that had luckily had a trailer hitch stable enough to pull their trailer.

"You alright?"

Zulema looked up and saw Saray coming up to her.

"Of course", Zulema answered. "I'm just considering sleeping between the trees so I can avoid having to deal with those two lovebirds at night." She nodded towards Rizos and Macarena.

Saray snorted. "I'm in", she said. "But I doubt something will happen between the two of them. Our _rubia_ doesn't seem to be up to it, does she?"

Zulema observed the couple that was standing a few meter away from them, and Saray seemed to be right; Macarena had her arms crossed in front of her chest and wore a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Rizos, on the other hand, was trying so hard that it was ridiculous; she fluttered her eyes, bit her lip and winked from time to time. It was embarrasing to even watch it.

"Poor thing", Zulema said. "She should have taken that rejected kiss in the bus more seriously."

"Right?", said Saray. "I've been trying to make it clear to her, too, but she just doesn't want to hear it. _'She needs time'_ , yeah, she needs fucking time to tell Rizos that she doesn't want to be with her anymore."

Zulema flashed the _gitana_ a sly smile. "You want me to speed it up?", she asked, winking at her friend. Zulema finally wanted to have some fun again.

Saray cocked her head, smirking. "For sure", she said. "I can't bare watching this tragedy any longer."

"Me neither", said Zulema, putting on an innocent expression. "It would only be for their own good."

Saray nodded slowly. "Of course it would. They would be thankful for it."

Zulema nodded as well. "Right."

She pushed herself off the car and slowly started walking towards Macarena and Rizos.

"Oh, you two", she said when she was in earshot.

Macarena and Rizos turned around simultaneously.

"You really are quite a heartbreaker, aren't you, _rubia?",_ Zulema asked, coming to a halt in front of the two women. Macarena stared at her with a warning expression but Zulema had never cared too much about warnings.

"They all fall for you, but you just let them fall" Zulema continued, letting out a laugh at her own play of words.

"Shut the fuck up, Zulema, this is none of your business", Rizos said, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking at Zulema with eyes darkened by anger.

"No, I just can't bare it any longer", Zulema said. "Your despair, her rejection…"

"Leave us, Zulema", Macarena said.

"I know that a relationship had ups and downs but from my judgement, this is not a down but a…-"

"And what would you know of relationships", Rizos cut in, taking a step closer to Zulema. "If you couldn't even establish one with your own daughter."

That came unexpected. Zulema's breath faltered against her will and a shiver ran over her spine, but she forced a smile on her lips nevertheless.

"Don't talk about things that are out of reach for your limited mind", she said, trying to keep her voice calm. "I'm just trying to make you understand that…-"

"No, no, no, you stop talking right now, because it really is your mind that's limited", Rizos said. "You didn't even get that all Fátima wanted was a mother, someone who cared for her. But you didn't get that, because in your mind, everything is just about one person. Yourself."

Zulema felt how her body was starting to shake. This was beginning to get out of control. Maybe this time, she should have thought twice before starting to talk. "You know that this is not what happened", she said, her voice vibrating.

Rizos challengingly raised her brows. "I know that she cried. Because she loved you. I don't know why or how, but she did, and it makes me so fucking angry that she had to die just because…-"

Zulema's body reacted before her mind could catch up to what was happening. Suddenly, she had the curly haired woman pinned against a tree, one hand on her neck and the other one around her upper arm.

"Don't you dare end that sentence ", Zulema pressed out. Her voice wasn't vibrating anymore; it was shaking.

"Hey!"

Someone grabbed her from behind and pulled her away from Rizos. Blonde strands of hair swayed in front of Zulema's face. Suddenly, Saray was there as well, stepping in between Rizos and Zulema, but Zulema couldn't fucos on either woman; images appeared in front of her inner eye and her body started trembling in response. She tried to free herself from Macarena's grasp but the blonde kept holding on to her from behind, her hands firmly closed around the brunette's arms.

"Let me go", Zulema said. Macarena didn't. "Let me go!" Finally, the blonde's hands loosened and Zulema tore away from her grip.

"You know it's true", Rizos said.

"Stop it, Rizos", Macarena said sternly.

Zulema took a deep breath, trying to get herself together, but it was of no use; the images kept on spilling down at her like a crumbling wave. It always had to be a fucking wave, hadn't it?

"She was asking for it."

"Rizos."

"What? She just makes this stuff up and…-"

"She didn't make it up, alright? She didn't. I've been wanting to talk to your for a while about it but…-"

"No. No, you're lying. That's her. It's her, creeping up to your mind, Maca, don't you see that? Her fucking poison, manipulating you like she alway does it with every single soul she meets!"

Zulema couldn't take it anymore. She stumbled a few steps backwards, then she turned around. She bypassed the car and the trailer, her feet carrying her automatically although she did not know this place at all. She just needed to get away. Rizos words echoed in her head while she staggered through the woods. All those words that told an ugly version of the truth. But the truth, nevertheless.

She kept on walking, running nearly, then she tripped over a root on the ground and fell. Her body hit the ground with a thud and her breath was taken away for a second when the wound at her stomach throbbed painfully, even though it had gotten better since they had left the motel the day before, but now she welcomed the pain. Physical pain was something she could deal with – emotional pain was not.

She rolled onto her back, panting and staring up at the sky. She didn't bother standing up again. Maybe this was it. The moment she had feared for so long, the moment when the emotions would overcome her – the moment when even running wasn't enough anymore.

"Zulema!"

The brunette heard steps approaching, fast steps.

"Zulema, hey!"

A hand touched her shoulder, squeezed it lightly.

"Are you alright?"

Zulema turned her head. Macarena was kneeling beside her, her face contorted to a worried frown.

"I tripped", Zulema said. Her voice was thin.

"That's not what I asked", Macarena said, but her eyes softened at the brunette's words.

Zulema swallowed. "I screwed up", she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Her eyes met Macarena's and she felt her throat tighten. "Rizos is right."

"No, she is absolutely not", Macarena said. "And don't you even consider believing what she says is true for a second."

Zulema sucked in a breath and pushed herself into a sitting position. She pulled her knees close to her upper body and wrapped her arms around them, Macarena's hand still on her shoulder.

"You weren't even there", she pressed out. "You don't know what happened."

"The others told me what happened, alright? God, Rizos herself told me that it wasn't your fault that they killed her, that you could have done nothing to prevent it from happening. What she said just now was meant to hurt you, nothing more, okay? You know her, she can be explosive sometimes, and you just pushed her over the edge. Which, of course, does not justify what she said, though."

Zulema shook her head. Her eyes were burning. She lifted her head up to the sky but that didn't stop the tears from escaping her eyes and running down her cheeks.

"You did love her, didn't you?", Macarena asked carefully.

Zulema closed her eyes and dug her nails into her legs, once again trying to have her mind focus on physical pain instead of emotional pain.

"More than anything in my life", she whispered. A sob shook her body and she squeezed her eyes shut while leading one hand to her mouth. It was too much. Too much pain. Too much guilt. Too much grief. It was all consuming her, and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

Suddenly, she felt arms wrap around her body from behind. For a second, she was on the verge of jerking away from the contact, but when her muscles tensed up, Macarena just placed her hands on her upper arms and gently squeezed them until Zulema slowly started to feel the tension in her body decrease.

"It's fine", Macarena said, her voice soft and quiet. "She knew that you loved her, believe me. She knew."

Another sob made Zulema's body tremble, but Macarena just kept on holding her, and somehow it felt right, so the brunette didn't fight it. Macarena's body against hers was warm and steady and even though the Zulema was shaking, she felt less vulnerable in the blonde's arms than alone on the ground of the forest.

They stayed like that for at least a few minutes; Zulema wouldn't know for sure because she lost the track of time. Macarena just held her and Zulema let herself be held. For the first time since an eternity. And, strangely, the feeling of Macarena's arms wrapped around her body didn't make her feel trapped like she expected it would. It just felt right.

It was only when Zulema's sobs subsided and her body stopped shaking that the blonde slowly loosened her grip. The sun had by now nearly completely vanished behind the trees.

"You fine?", Macarena asked quietly.

Zulema sniffed, then she nodded. The blonde rubbed her upper arm once more before eventually letting go of her to stand up. She offered Zulema a hand once she was standing. The brunette took it and let Macarena pull her off the ground. Once standing, Zulema briefly wiped her cheeks dry and took a deep breath.

"I feel like shit", she said, her voice rough.

Macarena smirked at her. "You certainly look like it."

Zulema let out a snort. "That makes me feel so much better", she said, but she felt a smile tug on her lips as well.

"Your welcome", said the blonde with a wink.

Then they started making their way back to the trailer. They walked slowly but it didn't take more than five minutes until they saw their car and trailer between the trees. Zulema slowed down her pace even more until she came to a halt. Macarena stopped as well and turned questioningly around to face the brunette.

Zulema took a deep breath. "Thank you", she said, her eyes interlocked with Macarena's. "Really, Maca. Thank you."

Macarena seemed taken aback by that. She shook her head. "There's nothing you need to thank me for."

"Yes, there is", Zulema said simply. She didn't want to elaborate this any more so she just started walking again, Macarena on her heels. 

"Am I having hallucinations or did you really just say the words _'Thank you'_?"

"Shut up, _rubia_."

She did. The only thing Zulema heard as a reponse was a quiet chuckle, and before she could do anything against it, her own lips were forming a small smile as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?  
> I hope I didn't write Zulema too soft in this chapter, I just felt like she slowly needed to start opening up a bit ;)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter has taken a bit longer than usually, because I was quite busy the last few days, but I hope the content makes up for the time!

"Maca." Rizos' voice was a barely audible whisper. For a moment, Macarena considered pretending that she was asleep but then the curly haired woman nudged her arm.

"Macarena."

The blonde sighed and turned onto her back. "What?", she asked, equally whispering.

It was the middle of the night; Macarena knew that, because since laying down on one of the beds, she hadn't been able to close an eye. Especially when an hour ago someone had opened the creaking door of their trailer and slipped outside. Macarena knew that it had been Zulema, but she had figured that the woman would want to be alone, so the blonde had stayed in her bed, her eyes wide open and her mind racing. Each sound from outside made her squirm and fear that someone may have found them, but it was just her paranoia making her anxious, she knew that.

"What you said earlier…", Rizos began, and Macarena instantly wished she hadn't encouraged the other woman to keep talking. When the matress budged and she felt the warmth of Rizos' body beside her, she closed her eyes. She should have known better.

"I meant it", Macarena said. "It's over, Rizos. I'm sorry. It just doesn't feel right anymore." She knew that her words may sound a bit harsh, but she didn't know what else to say to make it clear to the other woman.

"Why not?", Rizos asked. Her hand slipped under Macarena's blanket and came to rest on the blonde's thigh. "What's changed?"

Macarena took Rizos' wrist and firmly moved her hand away from her body. "I have", she said, turning to face the other woman. She pushed herself into a sitting position when she found her face closer to Rizos' than she liked.

Rizos propped herself up on her elbow and rested her head on her palm. "Are you sure about that?", she said. "Because I don't think so. I think it's _her."_

This took Macarena aback. For a moment she didn't have a clue what the other woman was talking about. "What? Who?"

Rizos' eyes glimmed in the dark. "Zulema."

"What?", Macarena repeated, because what the other woman was saying still didn't make any sense to her.

"Damn it, Maca, don't play stupid. Did you two fuck? In the forest?"

Macarena nearly choked at her words. " _What?"_

"You were gone for quite a long time, you know."

She couldn't be serious. Macarena pushed her spine straight, trying to orden her thoughts. "Do you even know what you're saying there, Rizos? She was upset, for heaven's sake, which is quite understandable considering what you said to her, don't you think? So, no, we didn't fuck, of course not! I don't even know why you would think something like that! This is just…-"

"Well, I was upset as well", Rizos interrupted her. "But you didn't run after me, did you?"

"You literally told Zulema that she was the cause of her own daughter's death, Rizos", Macarena said sternly. She was really getting tired of the other woman's silly attitude. "Even though you know damn well that she already blames herself for it. How would you compare her upset to your's, that's founded on a simple break-up that – be honest – you could have seen coming."

Rizos slowly nodded. "You're doing it again", she said. "Defending her, of all people."

"Yeah, so what?", Macarena said while pushing herself off the bed. She grabbed her sweater and threw it over her body.

Rizos snorted. "You could at least admit that you want to be with her."

Macarena stopped in mid-movement. "I do not", she said curtly. She felt a heat crawling up her neck which she blamed on her anger.

"And now you're doing what? Going out – to her?"

Macarena yanked the sweater down. "Just going out, for God's sake", she snapped. She turned around and headed towards the door.

"Of course", Rizos mumbled, but Macarena didn't turn around again.

She pulled the trailer's door open and stepped outside without bothering to response to the curly haired woman, because she knew that it was of no use. The woman was just too caught up in her sick narrative to even try to understand Macarena, and that infuriated the blonde even more, just as the fact that Rizos always needed to make such a drama out of everything. It was tiring, really.

A slight breeze made her hair sway back once she was outside and she fixed it behind her ear, then she closed the door behind her. She took a deep breath and the fresh air instantly made her feel a bit calmer.

"Can't sleep?"

Macarena turned around, startled by the sudden sound of a voice. Zulema was sitting a few meter away from where the blonde was standing, her back leaning against the trailer, in her hand a smoking cigarette.

"Something like that", Macarena said. She went to where Zulema was sitting in the gras and let herself down into a sitting position next to her. Zulema silently offered her her cigarette and this time, Macarena accepted it and took a drag.

Zulema knowingly looked on as the blonde smoked but didn't say anything. After a few drags Macarena gave Zulema her cigarette back, the brunette inhaled the tobacco one last time, then she squeezed the stub on the ground beside her and threw it under the trailer.

"Yeah, come on, just admit that you were worried about me", Zulema said with a smirk.

Macarena snorted. "You wish", she said, but she smirked as well.

Zulema let her head fall against the trailer behind them. "Maybe", she said. The moon was reflecting itself in the brunette's eyes which made them seem as if they were made of glass. "Or maybe I can just read your thoughts", she added.

"No, you can't."

Zulema slightly turned her head to look at Macarena. "What makes you so sure of that?"

Macarena let out a laugh. "I don't know, maybe the fact I did definitively not come outside because I was worried about you?"

"Why did you come outside, then?", Zulema asked in return, raising her brows.

Macarena let out a sigh. Did she feel the need to tell someone about the ridiculous conversation between herself and Rizos? Possibly. Was Zulema the one she wanted to talk to about it? On the one hand, absolutely not, given that the subject of the conversation had been Zulema herself. But on the other hand it would be nice to have someone support the opinion that what Rizos was saying was just silly crap, so, yeah, maybe talking to Zulema could help, indeed.

"Rizos and I had an argument", Macarena said short-handedly.

"Ah", Zulema said. "I should have guessed that first."

"Yeah, it was really a fifty-fifty chance", Macarena said with a grimace.

Zulema let out a short laugh. "Right", she said. "So she still doesn't understand that it's over?"

"No."

"And that's worth an argument?"

Macarena took a deep breath. "She actually, uh… said that it's because of you." The words came out rather haltingly.

Zulema's brows rose even higher. "What?"

"Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous, I already told her as much, but she somehow thinks that there is something going on between the two of us and suspects that that's the reason why I don't want to be with her anymore. Unbelievable, right?"

Zulema just stared at her. "What's so unbelievable about it?"

Macarena was at a loss for words. "I… What? What do you mean by that?"

"Just what I said. Why would you call it unbelievable?"

Alright, this was not how Macarena had expected this conversation to turn out. She tried to find any sign in the brunette's face that indicated that she was joking, but Zulema's expression was impossible to decipher; she just stared at Macarena with a gaze so intense that the blonde felt her skink prickle.

"She literally asked, and I quote, _'Did you two fuck in the forest'._ How would you not call that unbelievable?" Macarena tried to keep her voice calm but she once again felt a heat arising within her that made her feel uneasy.

"That's what she said?"

"Yes, God damn it, why do you keep asking those stupid questions?"

"So what do you find unbelievable; that we would fuck in the forest or that we'd be together?"

"I don't think there's that much of a difference."

Zulema smirked. "Really?" 

Then things happened so fast that Macarena couldn't even react in the slightest; suddenly, Zulema's hand was on the back of her head, pulling her close and in the next moment their lips crashed onto each other. She felt the other woman's hot breath on her skin, her tense fingers in her hair, then it was over. Suddenly, Zulema pushed the blonde away again and leaned back against the trailer as if nothing had happened. Macarena sucked in a breath and had to steady herself with one hand against the trailer to not fall over.

"You see, I can just do that", Zulema said with a calmness in her voice that made Macarena realise how fast her own pulse was going. "And have no further intentions. You don't have to tell me your deepest secrets and we don't have to be soulmates or some crap – it's just physical. So now again the question; what do you find unbelievable – us having something like that just now or us being in some stupid relationship?"

Macarena just stared at Zulema, still unable to comprehend what just had happened and even unable to identify if what had happened had been real or just an imagination. But, no, it had been real. She coul still feel a prickling sensation on her lips that clearly proved that she had not only imagined Zulema's lips on hers but very much felt them.

Zulema's right brow was arched and she wore a sly grin. She looked like the cat who had gotten the cream; the cream being in having Macarena completely overwhelmed.

"I… Are you out of your mind?", Macarena stammered, because it was really the only coherent sentense she could formulate at the moment.

"No", Zulema said with a shrug, seemingly unimpressed. "Are you?"

"That… doesn't even make any sense", Macarena pressed out while slowly pushing herself off the ground. It really did not make any sense, none of this; neither Zulema's actions nor her Goddamn questions that twisted Macarena's words as well as her mind.

"What – I just wanted to show you that there is a difference, indeed."

Macarena pushed a strand of hair out of her face, but when she noticed that her hands were shaking, she let them fall limply to her side again. "Yeah, I got that, but why… seriously, Zulema, why does it matter?"

The brunette reached into the pocket of her sweater and pulled out a package of cigarettes and a lighter. "I don't know", she said while placing the cigarette between her lips and turning on the lighter. "That's for you to decide."

"That's for me to… What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?", Macarena asked irritatedly. She just couldn't stand those crypric statements any longer.

Zulema just shrugged and took a long drag from her cigarette. "You're thinking too much, _rubia",_ she said, smoke leaving her mouth while speaking. "And _you're_ the one who told me to listen to my emotions or some shit."

Macarena gaped at the brunette. "Emotions? I... Alright, I don't know whether what you're smoking is pot or whether you just enjoy messing with me right now, but this is just sick!"

She turned towards the door of the trailer and pulled it open.

"It's not pot."

Macarena couldn't help but turn around one last time. Zulema looked at her with an almost bored expression, spiked up only by a slight sparkle in her eyes.

"Come on", the brunette said. "Pull yourself together, it was just a kiss."

Macarena expelled air in disbelief. Without another word, she stepped up into the trailer and let the door fall shut behind her. For a moment she just stood there, enveloped by nearly complete darkness, the only sound being the breathing of Saray and Rizos and the blonde's own, hammering heart which she could feel in her throat.

What. The fuck. Had just. Happened.

She lay down on her bed again, her body stiff. Maybe a night's sleep would make everything clearer. Or maybe she would wake up and find that everything had been a dream, nothing but a strange dream.

She closed her eyes, but the only image that kept on reappearing in front of her inner eye was the face of Zulema, only inches away from hers.

She would not wake up to realise that it had been a dream, she knew that. In fact, it just became even more real the longer she thought about it; Zulema's hand in her hair, on the back of her head, her breath on Macarena's skin, their lips on one another.

_It was just a kiss._ Right. Just a kiss.

_You're thinking too much._ True. But she just couldn't help thinking, so her thoughts kept on running on errand and she couldn't do anything to stop them, even though she wished she could. 

It was the complexity of those images and thoughts that finally made her drift asleep – but those same images and thoughts followed her into her dreams as well.


	18. Chapter 18

Zulema had been sitting outside of the trailer for almost an hour now, chatting with Saray and sipping a cup of tea, when Macarena stepped out of the trailer. It was around nine in the morning, but Zulema doubted that the blonde had actaully slept that long; she rather had the suspicion that Macarena sought to avoid her after what had happened last night.

"Morning", the blonde said, standing next to the small table Saray and Zulema were sitting around.

"Good morning", Saray said.

Zulema put on an exaggerated smile, directed at the blonde. "Good morning."

Saray furrowed her brows and slightly turned her head to look at Zulema. "What the hell is wrong with you?", she asked, holding back a laugh.

"Nothing", Zulema said, still smiling at Macarena. "I just hope Macarena had a great night and has an even better morning."

"You're so sick", Macarena murmured and let herself fall onto one of the unoccupied camping chairs standing beside the table.

Saray's eyes flickered from Zulema to Macarena and back to Zulema. "Did I miss something?"

In the same moment that Macarena said: "No, not at all", Zulema said: "Rizos is all yours now."

The gaze that Macarena shot the brunette would have sent any other person chills down their spine, but not Zulema; she just kept on smiling. Because she knew that that would annoy the blonde even more.

"Okay, what happened?", Saray asked, her expression slightly alarmed by now. "Where is Rizos, by the way?"

"Still sleeping", Macarena said.

Zulema let out a laugh. "Yeah, sure. I suppose her hatred against me does not do it's part for her to stay inside?"

Macarena closed her eyes. "You are a horrible person, Zulema", she said.

Zulema leaned forward in her chair, her face contorting only slightly when her wounded stomach stung at the movement. "We all are", she said, giving Macarena a meaningful look.

"Will someone telle me what happened, now?", Saray asked, leaning forward as well and making Zulema tear her gaze away from Macarena.

"I just made it clear to Rizos that it's over, that's all", Macarena said curtly. Her eyes were burning on Zulema's skin and the brunette understood the message Macarena was trying to convey; 'Shut up about what happened'. Zulema would still have to think about whether or not she wanted to obey to this asking, though.

"Alright", Saray said. "Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"Yeah", Macarena said.

There was a short silence. Zulema took a deep breath and Macarena's eyes were instantly on her again. "Well", Zulema said, letting out a sigh. The blonde's jaw tensed. "That's just what I said, isn't it? She's all yours now, _gitana_."

The brunette winked at Macarena who let out a previously held breath. The anger was still visible on her face, though.

Saray did a notion between a nod and a shrug. "Yeah, well, actually I'm not so sure if I even want her to be mine anymore, you know?"

"Oh", Macarena said in surprise and even Zulema found herself surprised by that news.

"How come?", she asked.

Saray shrugged again. "I just don't know if I want to be with someone for whom I've always been number two."

"Well, that's understandable", Macarena said, nodding.

"Took you long enough to realise that", Zulema said and let her hands fall onto her thighs.

"I guess", Saray said. "But, I mean, what are we even going to do now? Stay together? In this trailer? For how long – the rest of time?"

Zulema leaned back in her seat. That's what she had been asking herself already as well; what were they going to do? Because she was certainly not a person who just let the days pass on, wasting time – and therefore wasting money.

It might seem like a flat saying for some people, but time really _was_ money, at least for people like them. With enough time you could do all sorts of things; come up with a plan that will get you millions or surveille a store or person you want to rob. Time was a valuable good, even when Zulema had been in prison she had been aware of that. Her mind was always working, no matter when and no matter where because she couldn't _stand_ letting time pass by and not getting any use out of it. In prison she had constantly worked on escape plans or on plans to get money, and that had satisfied her need for using time in a useful way. But now, she was free. She couldn't stimulate her mind anymore by thinking about a way to escape, so she would have to think about something else. Something challenging and exciting at the same time. A plan.

"I'd say we…-", Zulema began but she was interrupted by the thrown open door that slammed against the trailer. Out of it stormed a visibly bad-tempered Rizos.

"Sorry, did I interrupt something?", she asked and let herself fall onto the last vacant chair around the table. Somehow, Zulema had the impression that 'sorry' was not really the right word to describe Rizos' mood; 'pissed' would be a better choice of words.

"Good morning to you as well", Saray said. "We were just talking about what we're going to do next."

Rizos directed her eyes at the table. "Oh, yeah, don't count me in. I'll leave."

"What?", Macarena asked. "What do you mean by that?"

"Just what I said. I'll leave. Be on my own. You won."

"I won?", Macarena echoed. "What the hell, Rizos? I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but I thought we got this sorted out."

"With _'sorted out_ ' you mean that you stormed outside to satisfy your needs elsewhere?"

Okay, someone was _really_ pissed.

Macarena audibly gasped and out of the corner of her eye Zulema saw Saray raising her brows, but the _gitana_ chose not to say anything. 

"That is just unfair and absolutely not true", Macarena said, shaking her head.

"Right", Rizos said curtly. "You should have left that door shut a bit longer if you wanted me to believe that."

It took Zulema a moment to realise what the other woman meant by that, but then it dawned on her. _Oh._ Macarena had wanted to go inside, had opened the door but stopped at the entrance at Zulema's words; _'It was just a kiss'._ Alright, _now_ things were starting to get interesting.

"What are you talking about?", Macarena asked. She had her chin raised and was blinking. The 'I don't know what you mean'-strategy really wasn't her thing.

"You know it", Rizos said curtly. "And by the way; it wouldn't even have been that bad if you hadn't denied it minutes earlier, really _minutes_."

"Okay, wait", Saray said, raising her hands. "What's going on here?"

"Oh, haven't you noticed?", Rizos asked, leaning back in her chair and provocantly raising her brows. "Ying and Yang, here, have a thing going on."

Saray stared at Rizos. Then she stared at Macarena. Then at Zulema. A laugh burst out of her.

"No", she said, giggling incredulously. "You're kidding."

"You are misinterpreting something, Rizos", Macarena said sternly, not bothering to reply to Saray.

"Well, did you kiss, or did you not? Because if you did, then I think I'm not the one who's misinterpreting something here."

"What?", asked Saray. She stared at Zulema, but the brunette kept quiet and just returned the gaze. She would look on how this whole thing unraveled before she stepped in.

"We did not… I mean, no, not really, it was more something like…-"

"You kissed", Rizos interrupted the blonde.

"Yeah, in a way, but it was… God, I don't even know why I'm justifying myself here", Macarena said, running her hands though her hair. "I mean, yeah, we kissed. To be concrete she kissed me, but I don't think that changes anything. Anyway, it happened, and actually, it's none of your business."

That steadfastness surprised Zulema; she had thought the blonde would go crawl back to Rizos, but it didn't seem like that was going to be the case.

"So you're admitting it", said Rizos, her arms crossed in front of her chest like a mother berating her child.

"What is there to admit?", Zulema asked, her voice in a deliberately bored tone. "It was just a kiss, no need to make such a fuss about it. And Maca is right, it _is_ none of your business."

"Oh?", Rizos exclaimed, facing Zulema for the first time this morning. "And that's coming from _you_ , who just yesterday initiated our break-up, which most certainly was none of your fucking business!"

Zulema let out a laugh at this claim. "Oh, dear, I did not _'initiate your break-up',_ for sure not. It would have ended up like this one way or the other."

"She's right", Macarea chimed in.

Rizos rolled with her eyes. " _Of course_ she is."

"What is that supposed to…-", began Macarena, but Zulema interrupted her.

"Save your breath, Maca", she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest now as well. "She won't listen to you. You want to leave?", she asked, addressing Rizos. "Then fucking leave!"

"Yeah", Rizos snapped, jumping out of her chair and staring at Zulema infuriatedly. "I will."

Macarena let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head. "But this can't be the solution to…-" Zulema interrupted her again, but this time with a motion instead of words. She let her right hand fall onto the blonde's thigh, making Macarena catch her breath and stop talking in mid-sentence.

"It is the solution", Zulema said, her eyes still leveled at Rizos while she let her fingers slip around Macarena's thigh until she could close and loosend them around it withing short intervals. The curly haired woman looked as if she wanted to jump over the table to throw herself at Zulema, but before she could even do as much as say something, Saray jumped up as well and put a precautional hand on Rizos' chest.

"Alright, alright", the _gitana_ said. "You're sure that you want to leave us?"

If possible, Rizos' expression darkened even more. "More than sure", she said, her voice vibrating from suppressed anger.

"Okay", Saray said. "I suppose you have some plan about where you want to go?"

"Yes", Rizos spit out. "I'll be fine, don't worry."

"We won't", Zulema said curtly. Her hand was suprisingly still resting on Macarena's thigh; it had been meant as a mere provocation towards Rizos, of which she had been sure that it would not be tolerated by the blonde, so she had thought Macarena would get up or push her hand away. But the blonde did no such thing.

"Fuck you", Rizos snarled. Her eyes snapped towards Macarena. "Both of you."

"I hope you'll be safe", Macarena said in response.

Rizos shook her head with a bitter smile on her lips. "Yeah, spare it."

Then, she turned around and went up into the trailer again, presumably to gather her few things. The door fell shut behind her with a bang.

"Okay", said Saray, who was still standing next to the table. She shot Macarena and Zulema a wary look that also noted Zulema's hand on Macarena's thigh. "What the fuck?"

Zulema shrugged and lifted her hand off of Macarena's leg. "What?", she asked. "She's overreacting. It was just for fun; a simple kiss."

Saray stared at her incredulously. "For fun", she repeated.

Zulema rolled her eyes. "It would take too long to explain it now. I just wanted to show Maca something."

Saray rejectively raised her hands. "Yeah, fine, no need to elaborate this any more."

Macarena let out a sigh. "It's nothing like that, Saray. It was stupid, really."

Saray averted her gaze from the two of them and gathered the two cups that were standing on the table in her hands. "Alright. I'll go clean this." Without saying anything more, she went into the trailer and left Zulema and Macarena alone outside.

Macarena stared at the closed door of the trailer. "Your effort in trying to debunk the rumor that there's something going on between us is remarkable, really", the blonde said flatly.

" _You_ were the one who confirmed that we kissed. I don't see why I should have pretended something else, then", Zulema said with a smirk.

Macarena leaned back in her chair. " _You_ kissed _me._ And it wasn't even a real kiss, was it?"

Zulema leanded forward, bringing her face closer to Macarena's and putting on a mocking smile. The blonde reluctantly met her gaze. "You want a real kiss?", Zulema purred.

Macarena jumped up, nearly throwing over her chair while doing so. "What the…- You are really unbelievable!"

Zulema leaned back again, laughing at the blonde's reaction. "And you are prude."

Macarena let out a huff and turned around, walking towards the car where they had some sets of clothes stored that they had bought at the grocery store they had stopped at.

"You didn't answer my question, _rubia",_ Zulema called out.

She saw Macarena shaking her head, then she heard a muffled; "Fuck you."

Which still wasn't an answer to her question.


	19. Chapter 19

Zulema was laying on the top of their trailer's roof and stared up into the sky that was slowly turning dark above her. There were even some stars to be seen already, as well as the glowing crescent of the moon. Around her it was quiet, the only sound coming from insects, birds or rustling leaves. She felt unusually at peace.

After Rizos had left – she had told Saray that she would try to seek out her sister and live with her – they had unanimously agreed that they would have to leave their place near the forest. There was the not too unlikely possibility of Rizos getting caught and being pressed to tell the police where they were, and they couldn't risk ending up in prison again; espescially not due to Rizos' stupidity or, even worse, due to her spite – Zulema, at least, did not cross out the possibility that the curly haired woman would happily trade information about their whereabouts in exchange for immunity or some crap. In hindsight, this made the brunette think that maybe they shouldn't have let her go and, alright, _maybe_ Zulema shouldn't have pushed it that far with the provocation.

But what's done was done, so they had packed up their stuff and driven some hundred miles further, deciding to settle at the edge of yet another forest that seemed equally remote and unvisited as the other one had been. A few miles away from this forest they had now settled at, was a small village that they had passed through earlier. After they had found a place for the trailer, Saray had uncoupled the car from it and driven to one of the grocery stores they had seen in the village to buy some things they hadn't gotten the first time they had stopped at a store.

Macarena had wanted to clear up the trailer a bit but Zulema had been sick of feeling caged in such a small space and had climbed up the small ladder on the side of the trailer to jump on it's roof. She had stood there motionless at first, for a few seconds just observing her surroundings and enjoying the clean, fresh air filling her lungs with every breath she took. Then she had let herself down into a sitting position and finally into a laying position which she hadn't left since then.

It felt good being alone with herself for once, which was a rare thing to achieve when driving around and basically living with formerly three, now two other women. Somehow, it was strange hearing the birds sing and the leaves rustle around her; after all these years in prison she had nearly forgotten what being surrounded by nature only truly felt like. Seeing the moon any the stars above her was equally strange, because when had been the last time she had been able to watch the day break into night without bars or a fence limiting her view?

"Zulema?"

Well, so much for being alone.

The ladder leading up to the roof creaked and Zulema closed her eyes. Could she not have her peace for at least some hours?

"Zulema?"

"You say my name one more time, _rubia,_ and I'll push you off this roof", Zulema grumbled.

She heard the other woman's steps approaching. "What are you doing here?"

Zulema sighed irritatedly and opened her eyes. Macarena was standing beside her, looking down at the brunette quizically. "Enjoying my own company", Zulema said.

Macarenas lips curled up into a grin. "In other words: You want me to leave?"

"That's quite accurately what I wanted to say, yeah."

"Tough luck; I need to talk to you about something", the blonde said, and before Zulema could do anything about it, Macarena sat down beside Zulema.

"If it's about Rizos…-"

"It's not", Macarena interrupted her. "It's about the three of us, actually. You know, I was just asking myself… do you really think we can make it?"

"Make what?", Zulema asked.

"Be free. And, most importantly, i guess, stay free."

Zulema propped herself up on her elbows. "Fuck it, Maca, that's what you disturb me for? Some stupid moral questioning shit?"

"Sorry if I'm worrying about out future", Macarena said, raising her hands in defense. "I was just thinking about, you know, what Saray said earlier, basically. What will our life look like? What will we be doing within the next weeks, months, hell, the next years?"

"I wasn't kidding when I said you're thinking too much", Zulema said, letting herself down onto her back again. "It's exhausting how much your overthinking, really."

"How can you say I'm overthinking when I literally just want to know what we are going to do next?", Macarena asked, turning a bit and letting herself down onto her stomach so that she was laying parallel to Zulema.

"What do you want to do, then?", Zulema asked, slightly turning her head towards Macarena. "I suppose you have something in mind if you're that determined about discussing this with me."

"Me?", Macarena asked, raising her brows. "I thought _you_ had something planned."

"Oh, I see", Zulema said, closing her eyes again. "You want to lean back and hope for me to do the work. Well, sorry to disappoint you; I don't have anything planned." The last words came out rather harsh, but Zulema didn't mind.

"You don't?", Macarena asked.

"No", Zulema answered curtly.

"Well, even better, maybe. That way, we can figure out something together."

The brunette let out a snort. "Absolutely not."

"Why not?", asked the blonde, irritation just slightly audible in her voice.

"Because I'm just not in the mood for it."

"Oh, yeah, of course, that's an understandable excuse", said Macarena, irony dripping from her words.

Zulema let out an annoyed sigh, her eyes snapping open again. "I've told you to leave me alone, _rubia",_ she said. 

"Yeah, well, the world doesn't revolve around you."

"Oh", Zulema said, propping her elbow up and resting her cheek on her palm, her face now only inches away from Macarena's. "Well, neither does it revolve around you."

"At least I'm not behaving like I think it did."

"No", Zulema said, cocking her head a bit and pursing her lips. "You are just little _Macarenita,_ always searching for someone to lead you the way and never seizing the initiative yourself. Did you know that the tide depends from the moon? Well, to me it looks like I am the moon, and you are the tide – you being dependent from me; me being the one who's in control."

The blonde furrowed her brows. "Did you really just equate yourself with the moon?"

"I felt like I needed to talk in pictures for you to understand that I actually am the one who's in control here", Zulema said.

"That's what it's always about for you, isn't it?", Macarena asked, narrowing her eyes. "Control?"

"Of course", Zulema said with a sly smile. "So you acknowledge that it's me, who…-" She was cut of when, all out of the sudden, something crashed against her lips; or rather someone. Macarena had so suddenly leaned over to Zulema that the brunette hadn't in the slightest anticipated what would happen; not that she would ever have expected it.

At first, she thought that Macarena wanted to pull a prank on her like she had done it to the blonde the night before, but this was nothing like the peck on the lips that Zulema had given Macarena yesterday.

The blonde kissed her so forcefully that Zulema could barely breathe.

Macarena had one hand dug into Zulema's hair at the back of her head, with the other one she was propping up her body beside the brunette who found herself unable to think strainght. The only thing occupying her mind was Macarena's hot breath on her skin, the heat radiating from her body, the determined grip she had on her hair and their lips on each other.

Zulema felt as if her mind were paralyzed and her body therefore reacting completely on it's own; without wanting to, she automatically grabbed hold of Macarena's arm to pull herself up and closer to the blonde.

It was exhilarating.

And just as sudden as it had begun, it ended.

Macarena was the one to pull away first; she broke out of the kiss and leaned back just enough for them to look at each other properly. Her fingers were still interwined with Zulema's hair but she seemed to deliberately let them linger there.

"Who's in control now?", asked Macarena, panting in between her words. Her eyes seemed to glisten even though their surroundings were barely illuminated anymore by now. 

Zulema's chest was heaving against her will. "Clearly me", she said, pausing for a moment to control her breathing, because, _hell,_ she was out of breath. "I'm the moon, remember? You're the tide and I made you…-"

Macarena cut her off with a single laughter. "Yeah, right." Her lips transformed from an ironic grin to an almost mocking smile. "You may wish for that to be true, but just now…", she paused and winked at the brunette. "Zulema Zahir has lost control."

Zulema didn't know whether she was feeling stunned or amused by the blonde's sudden all too confident behaviour. And she didn't know what she _should_ feel. Quite precisely, she didn't know anything right now.

"I have not", she said, trying to finally get her breathing under control again.

Fuck. She _had_ lost control. Utterly.

"Sure", Macarena said. It was only when she took her hand away from the back of the brunette's head to stand up that Zulema realized that it had still been there. God damn it!

As soon as Macarena was standing, she headed towards the edge of the roof to go down the ladder again. Zulema pushed herself up as well until she was in a sitting position, running a hand through her hair and still trying to process what had just happened.

"The moon", Macarena mubled ironically when she took the first step of the ladder. Her eyes found Zulema's easily when she looked up. "I have never heard anything more ridiculous."

"It was a fucking good metaphor."

Macarena chucklingly shook her head and continued descending the ladder. "It was horrible."

"Yeah, as was your kiss!", snapped Zulema.

The blonde laughed. She fucking _laughed_. "You leaned into it, Zulema, stop fooling yourself", said Macarena, glancing bemusedly at the brunette one last time before jumping off the ladder and vanishing out of Zulema's line of sight.

Zulema's heart was still hammering in her throat. She tried to slow it down with the sheer force of her will, but, of course, it did not obey. Why would it, if even the blonde seemed to be beyond Zulema's control today? 

So her heart kept on hammering and the blonde kept on doing whatever she was doing.

And Zulema felt the control about everything sliding out of her hands, slowly but steadily; about their plans, about the blonde and, worst of all, about herself. It was like a thread being pulled out of her hands – and the one pulling on this thread was Macarena.

And Zulema couldn't do anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT DO YOU THINK? *-*


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the long wait, I just wasn't really satisfied with this chapter for a long time so I kept on changing passages but I quite like how it turned out, eventually - I hope you do, too! :)

"Well", Saray said while chewing on a piece of her toast. "What _are_ we going to do now?"

Zulema couldn't help but roll her eyes at that question.

They were sitting around the small table inside of the trailer since outside it had started to rain and Macarena and Saray had insisted on eating something together, because _'Why should everyone eat alone when we can all eat together'_ or some crap like that. Like they were one happy family on a weekend-trip. Which they were not. Not at all.

Zulema wouldn't have agreed to it if she had anticipated _that_ particular topic coming up, because it was really getting on her nerves by now. But now here she sat, an apple in her hand and her legs crossed under her body and found herself once again confronted with that question; ' _What now?'_

If only she knew the answer to it.

"Why are you both so keen on planning your life, do you want to get a scholarship or what?", she murmured.

"For sure not", Saray said. "But I want to _do_ something. Don't you?"

Hell yes, Zulema wanted to do something so very much that it irked her, but she just couldn't think of something decent.

"Yeah, I guess", she said, her voice deliberately bored. "Maca, what do you say?"

The blonde nearly choked on her bread, startled at being adressed all out of the sudden. A smirk formed on Zulema's lips.

"I think", said Macarena, clearing her voice and putting her bread aside. "We should think about how to stay safe. Hidden. We have a lot of food, quite a lot of money and therefore should be able to stay…-"

"Boring", Zulema interrupted the blonde, emphasizing the first syllable and leaning back on the bench she was sitting on.

Macarena looked at her irritatedly. "How is staying safe and consequently out of prison boring?"

"I wasn't born to play it safe, _joder", Z_ ulema said with a sigh. "I need some adrenaline. This patchwork-family life isn't quite it."

"Oh", Macarena said, raising her brows. "So you would prefer going back to prison?"

"I didn't say I would like to be caught", Zulema said. "That's the thrill of it, you know – doing something and _not_ getting caught."

Macarena just stared at her. "Right. What do you propose, then?"

"If my opinion is still of value in this conversation, too", Saray said, leaning forward a bit to get the other women's attention. "I saw some small shops in the streets I passed. Maybe we could rob one of those."

"Rob?", Macarena exclaimed. "Seriously, that's more stupid than writing ' _Wanted Criminal on the run'_ all over your face."

"I like Saray's idea", Zulema said simply.

Macarena looked at her with a frown. "Don't be silly, Zulema."

The brunette just shrugged. To be quite honest, she didn't think robbing some store was the best idea at the moment, either, but she just didn't want to give Macarena the satisfaction of agreeing with her right now. Control needed to be taken back to it's rightful owner; Zulema herself.

"Come on, _rubia,_ it could be fun", said Saray. "Robberies always are."

"It could be fucking dangerous", countered the blonde. "Espescially in your condition", she continued, throwing a glance towards Zulema.

A death wish would have had the same effect on the brunette.

"In my condition?", she snapped, jumping to the edge of her seat and staring at the blonde. "What is that supposed to mean? You think I can't handle a simple fucking robbery?"

Macarena looked back at her calmly. Which made Zulema's anger rise even higher. "I think that it would not be wise for you to rob a store when we basically saved you from bleeding out just what – two days ago? Three?"

"Saved me?", Zulema burst out, pushing herself off the bench now to stand. The audacity the other woman was showing off made her blood boil. "You did not fucking save me, Macarena, don't you dare say that one more time!"

"Oh, come on, now! You were passing out, Zulema, and we literally stitched your whole fucking stomach up! How would you have done that on your own, huh?"

Zulema slammed her hands on the table. "I would have managed it on my damn own! I always do!"

"Yeah", Macarena said, directing her eyes away from the brunette and taking her bread into her hand again. "Whatever you say."

Zulema sucked in a breath. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Saray looking at some spot at the wall in front of her.

" _Hija de puta",_ Zulema snarled, facing Macarena again and then, without another word, striding towards the door and storming out of the trailer. Someone called out her name but the door had already fallen shut again and she couldn't make out whose voice it had been. Not that it mattered.

She jumped from the caravan into the grass and took some steps into no certain direction until she was standing a few meter away from the trailer, her breast heaving and her muscles tense. Heavy rain was battering down upon her, but she didn't care; in fact, she welcomed the feeling of cooling water on her limbs that had felt like set aflame by her anger beforehand.

Anger at the blonde because she dared say such things. Anger at the blonde because she was acting so damn sure of herself. Anger at the blonde because she _could_ be fucking sure of herself because she was bloody _right_ with what she was saying.

They had saved Zulema from bleeding out, she knew that, just like she knew that robbing a store right now was a Goddamn stupid idea. But that didn't mean that Macarena could just say things like that. 

The door to their trailer opened creakingly. Zulema closed her eyes in exasperation.

"Zulema."

The brunette remained silent.

"Come back inside, please. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude."

"Fuck off", snapped Zulema. There was a short silence but Zulema didn't dare hope that the blonde had actually gone back inside.

"It's pouring. Come on."

Zulema curtly shook her head but she doubtet that Macarena would even see that due to the darkness surrounding her. The rain kept on pouring down at her but she couldn't have cared less.

"I already said that I'm sorry, what else should I do?"

Zulema swirled around, her boots squeezing water from the grass beneath her feet. "Just fucking leave me alone!", she snapped, staring angrily at the blonde who was standing in the doorway.

"Please, Zulema", Macarena said with a sigh. "We don't have that much clothes and you won't be able to wear those for the next few days if you keep letting the water drench them."

In that, Zulema saw reason. She hesitated for another moment, then she reluctantly walked towards the trailer, her hands in the pockets of her pants and her eyes never leaving Macarena's.

"Do you think I'm weak?", the brunette asked, coming to a halt in front of Macarena.

"What?", Macarena said, frowning. "No, of course not."

"Why did you make me seem fucking weak, then?", Zulema asked, her chin raised. The rain was by now runnig down her face as well as her neck and therefore wettening her back and upper body as well, but she refused to have this conversation inside. Because that was what Macarena wanted and hell would have to freeze over before Zulema did what the blonde wanted her to do right now. 

"I didn't mean to…-"

"Yes, you did. You said that with the purpose of undermining me. Of taking control."

"No I did not", Macarena said firmly. "I just wanted to express my concerns. You may have mistaken it for that damn control-issue but that's your problem, then. I don't need to undermine you in any way, nor do I want to do it. I'm sorry if it seemed to you as if I was doing that." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and transferred her weight from one leg to the other. "Now, please come inside, it's freezing cold."

Zulema clenched her jaw. Had she really just overreacted? Had that incident earlier that evening blinded her that much? 

"You still did make me seem weak", she said.

There was a short silence, the only sound being the continously splashing rain.

"You are the strongest person I know, Zulema", Macarena said calmly. "I'm sorry if my words made it seem as if I was thinking anything less about you. I just don't see the reason for you to go on some senseless robbery and get yourself killed. That's all." 

A raindrop ran down Zulema's spine and her body trembled against her will. She hastily crossed her arms in front of her chest as well. The worst was that the blonde's words did make sense; she had known that before, but just for the sake of it, Zulema had disagreed with her. Because she felt like Macarena was taking the control away from her even though now the brunette began to feel like, maybe, that hadn't even been the point of it. Maybe she had just singled it out as the point because it was her who needed the feeling of being control so badly that she projected her own needs onto Macarena.

"Now, come inside, Zulema, you're shivering", Macarena said when the brunette remained silent. Then, the blonde extended her arm and made a small motion with her hand, indicating that Zulema should grab it. And she did. Macarena pulled Zulema up the step to the trailer and their hands remained interwined for just another second, then Zulema tore her fingers out of Macarena's. They were standing across from each other in the doorframe, both of them just staring at the other one for a short moment. 

"I'm going to bed", Zulema said curtly and abruptly turned away from Macarena. She walked towards the sleeping compartment and took off her drenched hoodie as soon as she was out of the blonde's sight.

Her limbs felt stiff from the cold and she allowed her teeth to chatter while she rummaged through one of the shelfs to find another sweatshirt. There were pants, shirts, underwear and socks, but not one thick hoodie that would promise warmth. With an exasperated groan, Zulema grabbed a T-Shirt, pulled it over her head, changed her pants and threw herself onto her bed which creaked under her weight. The blanket was more of a thin cloth and soon her whole body was trembling, water still running down her neck and making it impossible for her body to regain some heat.

Suddenly, something soft landed on her upper body. She shot upright and grabbed the fabric with one shaking hand. It was a hoodie. And in the doorframe stood Macarena, dressed in a shirt.

"Put it on", the blonde said.

Zulema hesitated for a moment, but then the cold won over her pride and she pulled the hoodie over her head. It was warm and comfortable. Still slightly shivering, Zulema fixated her eyes on Macarena again.

"You should stop that", the brunette said, her voice rough.

"Stop what?", asked Macarena

Zulema paused. "Caring about me."

"Why?"

Zulema turned her eyes towards the ceiling and let her head fall back onto the pillow. "I just can't deal with it."

There was a short silence, then she heard slow steps approaching. "Why not?"

The brunette took a faltering breath. "Because I'm a fucking wreck."

The matress beside her budged. "You are not", Macarena said quietly.

A hand brushed Zulema's shoulder. She didn't flinch.

"Should I leave you alone?", Macarena asked.

Everything inside of Zulema screamed 'Yes'. Everything.

But she shook her head no.

Carefully, the blonde slipped under the blanket beside Zulema. Her hand came to rest on the brunette's shoulder again.

And, finally, warmth began spreading throughout Zulema's body; originating from where the blonde was touching her.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amount of Zurena in this chapter: a lot.   
> Enjoy ;)

Bright light shining right into Macarena's face caused her to wake up. The sun was well up and shining brightly through the window across of her, blinding her at first when her lids fluttered open. At first, she didn't quite know where she was; she usually didn't have a window next to her bed, so this couldn't be her bed she was lying in. It was only then that she noticed the curled up body next to her around which her own arm was wrapped.

_Oh._

Of course. Zulema. Now she remembered.

Last night's display of the brunette's anger, her stubburnness and, eventually, her rarely shown vulnerability. The evening had truly really been a rollercoaster ride. And now here they were; lying so close that Macarena's upper body was practically nestled against Zulema's back. Additionaly, her arm was wrapped around Zulema's waist, which the blonde did not remember happening; she had scarcely touched the brunette before falling asleep, yes, but she had certainly not slung her arm around the other woman's body so that her hand was resting on Zulema's stomach. Subconsciously though, she apparently had done so.

Zulema's body was warm and relaxed under her touch and only moved due to the brunette's even breathing. She seemed so extraordidarily peaceful that Macarena didn't dare to move, fearing that she might wake the other woman. She deserved some rest, anyway; Macarena knew that the brunette usually didn't allow herself to sleep too often or too long, supposedly due to both her nightmares and her constant need to be alert.

But even Zulema Zahir needed sleep. Even if she may wish she didn't.

Macarena studied the brunette a bit longer and found that even her face looked different than usual, without the constant tensed features that hinted at the ongoing tension Zulema must be feeling. Now, her features didn't seem nearly as hard as usally, but actually quite soft instead. And, Macarena had to admit, rather beautiful. Not that she had ever thought of the brunette as being hard to look at, but right now, in this peaceful moment, her beauty was a different one; it was not based on her alluring maliciousness that she constantly portrayed, but on her purity. And to Macarena, the beauty that the brunette was radiating right now was stunning.

" _Rubia."_

Macarena flinched at the sudden voice – and at the sudden appearance of Saray who stood beside the bed, looking down at Macarena and Zulema.

"God, Saray", Macarena mumbled, turning her head a bit to look properly at the other woman. "Good morning."

"Yeah. Good morning", said the _gitana._ Her eyes were resting on the brunette's body. "Is she fine?"

Macarena threw a quick glance towards Zulema. Her breathing was still as even as before. "Yes", the blonde said, careful to keep her voice low.

Saray nodded. "Good. I, uh… will you wake her and come outside? I've got something to talk about with you guys."

"Of course", Macarena said, propping her upper body up and taking her arm off Zulema's body in the process. "We'll be out in a minute."

Saray nodded. She looked at the still sleeping Zulema for another second, then she turned around. At the door she stopped, throwing Macarena one last glance. "You're good for her", she said, then she went outside.

That was a funny statement.

_Good for her_.

Macarena let her head fall back onto the pillow. Was she good for Zulema? Could she even be, when all their… halfway friendly relationship, if you even wanted to call it that, was founded on were back and forths about control and power? She didn't know. But what she did know was that she had never seen the brunette sleeping as soundly as right now. But then again, maybe she was just exhausted from fighting with Macarena nearly all day long.

Whatever. Saray was waiting. Macarena slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position and put one hand on Zulema's shoulder.

"Zulema", she said, quietly at first, the second time a bit louder and with a small shake of the brunette's shoulders. "Zulema."

The other woman's eyes fluttered open. Her body stiffened for a second, presumably at Macarena's touch, but after her gaze found the blonde's her muscles relaxed again and she let her eyes fall shut again.

" _Joder",_ she said.

"Yeah, good morning to you too", Macarena said with a small grin.

"What time is it?", came the murmured reaction.

"I actually don't know", said the blonde. She hadn't even thought about that until now which made her let out a small chuckle.

Zulema covered her face with one arm to shield her eyes from the bright sun. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing", Macarena said with a smile. "It's just… when have we really had the possibility to sleep in for the last time? Not to be woken by a Goddamn siren, but just sleep as long as we want? I can't even remember."

Zulema let her arm slide off her face and blinkingly looked at Macarena. "You just spent more than half a year sleeping, I think that might be considered 'sleeping in'."

Macarena opened her mouth in feigned huffiness and nudged the brunette against the shoulder. "I was in a coma, that doesn't count!"

Zulema let out a snort, ran her hands over her face and pushed herself into a sitting position as well. "Well", she began, looking at her lap at first and then at Macarena. "I can't remember ever sleeping in. Not once in my life. Or properly sleeping at all, for that matter. So, this is a first for me, I guess."

Macarena had suspected that much, but hearing it from the other woman was something else. The smile had by now vanished from the blonde's face. "I'm sorry to hear that", she said, and she was. Because she cared about the brunette. She cared a fucking _lot_ about her. Way more than she would like.

"Don't be", Zulema said, her eyes still resting on the blonde. "It's my own fault, I guess. Well, anyway." She made a move to stand up but Macarena stopped her by grabbing her upper arm. The brunette looked from Macarena's face to her hand holding her arm, and back to her face.

"Stop blaming yourself", Macarena said, her voice barely above a whisper.

She knew that Zulema pretended to be indifferent about nearly everything in her life but she also knew that that wasn't the truth; she was not at all indifferent. Macarena had seen that when she had met Zulema right after her daughter had died, she had seen it that one evening in the forest and she had, quite honestly, always suspected it. She noticed when the mask Zulema was so often wearing was coming down, she saw her emotions and noted her pain. And, above all, she saw how Zulema always made herself out as being responsible; she gave herself all the guilt even though she may pretend that she couldn't care less about an issue. And then it ate her up from inside – and Macarena couldn't stand that any longer. 

"I don't", Zulema said.

Macarena shook her head. "Yes, you do", she said. "Stop it. It… pains me seeing it."

Zulema's eyes slightly widened. "Really?" There was no sarcasm in her voice, no smirk on her face. Just this simple, genuine question. Because she could not believe that someone would care about her.

Macarena didn't know who made the first move, then; it could have been her but it might just as well have been Zulema. Maybe it had been both of them. Suddenly, she found her lips on the lips of the brunette, her hands in her dark hair and her body close to hers. This time, the kiss was not about control, not at all – this time, it was about union. They were equals, both of them leaning into the kiss and both of them wanting it.

They fell back onto the pillow, their bodys interwined and their lips interlocked. They moved nearly in sync, making their movements melt until a point where Macarena couldn't be sure anymore who was being the one leading the motions.

It was forceful but at the same time soft; exhausting but at the same time energizing. It was just like the two of them – branded by opposites but at the same time harmonic.

Macarena was leaning over Zulema by now, one of her hands in the brunette's tangled hair and one next to her head on the pillow. They were both breathing heavily and Macarena took a second trying to control her breaths, but it was of no use and she let her lips crash down at Zulema's again in surrender. She was careful not to beset the brunette to much though, but soon Zulema pulled her down until Macarena was practically lying on top of the brunette. She felt Zulema's hands under her shirt, on her skin and in her hair and let her own hands slide over the brunette's soft skin as well while their faces were so close that she could feel each breath Zulema was taking on her own skin.

Never in her life had the blonde experienced something as electriying as this moment; her heart was beating wildly agains her chest, her breaths were uneven and her mind was spinning mercilessly. Zulema's breathing was just as laboured, and the hand she had at Macarena's waist was wrapped tightly around the blonde's body.

Right now, neither of them was in control anymore. And they both knew it.

When their lips parted once more so they could both breathe for a second, Zulema's eyes found Macarena's. Her gaze was magnetic and Macarena found herself unable to look away from those sparkling, honey-pool coloured eyes.

"Maca", Zulema breathed.

Macarena took some more breaths. She didn't quite trust her voice yet.

When she didn't say anything, the brunette's lips cracked into a sly grin. "Did you wake me up just to fuck with me?"

Macarena let out a rough laugh. "You wish", she said. As she remembered the real reason she had woken Zulemam, the smile slipped from her face. "Oh, God. Saray wanted to talk to us about something. I told her we'd be outside within a minute."

She distangled her limbs from Zulema's, hastily stood up and pulled her clothes straight.

Behind her, Zulema slowly pushed herself up as well, watching the blonde as she fixed her hair in the small mirror at the wall. "That were at least ten minutes."

Macarena threw a short glance into the brunette's direction, her breaths still coming in an uneven rythm. "Well, then hurry."

Zulema carefully stood up. She was still dressed in Macarena's hoodie, even though it was barely covering her stomach at the moment due to the way the blonde had slipped her hands under it. The brunette pulled the fabric down and came to a halt next to Macarena.

"Who would have thought", she said, a crooked grin on her lips. "I actually enjoyed that."

Macarena paused. "I liked it, too."

"You liked it", echoed Zulema, turning away and putting on her shoes. "It seemed as if you liked it a lot, _rubia_. Now, how long do you need to fix your hair, come on."

"Just… go ahead, I'll be right outside", Macarena said.

The brunette shrugged, then she went towards the exit and jumped outside.

Macarena let out a sigh and leaned her back against the wall. Zulema was right; she _had_ liked it a lot. A lot more than anything similar she had ever experienced. But that wasn't the point; the point was that she had enjoyed it not only on the physical level but on a personal one as well. She knew that she shouldn't. She should shut her emotions out, just as Zulema had told her that one night. Because even if she dared feel something for this woman, it wouldn't turn out the way she wanted it; because Zulema wouldn't let herself feel something, Macarena knew that for sure. But Macarena was no person to control her emotions like that; she had never been.

She felt something for the other woman. Against her own will, she felt something. And by now, it was far too late to change that.


	22. Chapter 22

The air outside was still clammy from last night's rain but the sun was shining through some clouds nevertheless.

When Zulema stepped outside, her eyes instantly interlocked with Saray's. The _gitana_ was sitting on one of their plactic chairs, a cup of coffee in front of her. She wore an unreadable expression and Zulema slowly headed towards her, burying her hands inside of the pockets of her sweater. Or Macarena's sweater, to be concrete.

"Took some time for her to wake you, huh?", Saray asked, nodding towards Zulema.

The brunette shrugged and let herself fall onto the chair next to Saray. "Seems so."

Saray let out a snort. "Come on, Zule, stop it. You can be honest with me, you should know that. Are you two a couple now, or what?"

Zulema was careful to keep her face void of any emotion. She knew that if there was one person she could talk to about everything, it was Saray. But how was she supposed to explain the matter to Saray when she didn't even quite understand herself what was going on between her and the blonde? "We're not", she said curtly.

Saray's brows rose. "Right", she said. "You know, I sleep in there as well. And when I went to bed last night, the _rubia_ was wrapped around you like a koala bear; which she still was this morning."

"She just… comforted me, that's it."

Saray leaned a bit forward, tilting her head. "Yes. That's it, indeed. Because the Zulema I know usually doesn't let others comfort her. You like her, don't you?"

Zulema shifted in her chair. This woman really knew her too well. "You know, it's just… She somehow gets me. And I like _that._ Which doesn't mean I like her."

Saray's lips formed a sly smile. "Of course", she said. "I still think that…-" She didn't get to finish that sentence, because at the same time the door to their trailer was opened and Macarena stepped outside, quickly making her way towards the two women and letting herself down on a chair next to Zulema.

"Sorry for taking so long, I couldn't find a hoodie", she said.

That was really the worst excuse she could have chosen. Saray's eyes wandered from Zulema to Macarena and back to Zulema. "Isn't _this_ your hoodie?", she asked, nodding into the direction of Zulema.

Macarena turned her head to look at Zulema now as well. Their gazes met. The blonde looked nearly apologetic. "Oh", she said. "Yes."

That was not an adequate way to answer that question. Not at all. But Zulema kept quiet because she just didn't have the nerve for all this play-pretend right now.

"You wanted to talk to us about something?", she asked instead, hoping for a change of subject.

"Yes", Saray said, straightening a her spine. "I… uhm… you know, yesterday, when the two of you went outside, I turned on that small TV in the van. And I… they were running news, you know."

Zulema felt her muscles tense. She saw where this was going and she didn't like it one bit.

"They showed coverage of, well, of _Cruz del Norte._ How they are searching for us. And they showed… you know, in the background there was… the couple that's taking care of my daughter. Her… adoptive parents."

Zulema cleched her fists but that didn't help contain the anger. She set some of it free by kicking the table with her foot. When she looked up to Saray, the other woman looked at her with big eyes. Zulema just nodded towards her, indicating that she should continue.

Saray cleared her throat. "I… you know, I hate prison. I hate it. And I am so grateful for finally being free, but… I have a daughter. And she will never get to now me if I'm a fugitive for life. Never. And I just… can't live with that."

 _No, no, no._ This couldn't be happening.

"So you want to…", Macarena began, struggling to finish the sentence. "To do what, now?"

Saray took a deep breath. "I want to turn myself in."

Zulema jumped up as soon as the words left the other woman's lips. Her body was vibrating with rage and her eyes were burning. "No", she said, shaking her head at Saray. "You won't do that."

Saray looked almost apologetic, her eyes round and pleading. "Zule, please."

Zulema kept on shaking her head. She wouldn't let this happen. She hadn't cared about what would happen to Rizos because she didn't care about her. But she did care about Saray. And she wouldn't let her go to prison again. "No, Saray. I won't let that happen. I won't. Your daughter is going to have a good life with those people, she will be fine. You won't, if you let yourself get locked up again."

"I have only got a few years left. And I don't care about my life. I just want to be a part of hers, you know. I need to see her, even if it is in a weekly _Vis a Vis._ You are a mother, too, Zulema. I thought you would understand…-"

This made Zulema's anger pour over. Her body tensed and she was on the verge of throwing herself at Saray, when suddenly someone took hold of her arm. A second hand came to rest at the small of her back. Macarena.

"Your reasons are absolutely understandable, Saray", said the blonde without taking her hands away from Zulema. Then she said, a bit more quietly and directed only at the brunette; "Let's sit down again."

The brunette didn't want to obey to her. But somehow, the calming warmth of Macarena's hands made her nod and sink back onto her chair. Her eyes were still directed at Saray, though. It wasn't that she didn't understand the _gitana's_ reasons; she just couldn't believe they would make her do something like this. Like giving up her freedom, for God's sake.

"I won't tell them anything about you, I swear", said Saray. "Not a single word. I'll say we split up, that I don't know where you went."

Macarena nodded. "Good."

 _Good_. Nothing was good. Zulema took a faltering breath. "You know what happened with Altagracia, Saray, don't you?", she asked, because the parallel was just too obvious. "They wanted to find her at all cost. Just as they want to find us now. And in order to find her…" She took another breath because her voice was quivering. "They knew that they needed to break me. And they used my daughter to do so. Which resulted in her death." The last words almost made her choke but she continued speaking. "I don't want anything to happen to your daughter because of me, or us, for that matter. I just… I couldn't live with it." Her voice had subsided to a weak whisper. Under the table, she felt Macarena's hand lightly resting on her thigh.

"What happened to Fátima was Sandoval's doing", the blonde said softly. "But he's dead. Nobody is going to hurt little Estrella; espescially not if Saray turns herself in."

Zulema briefly ran her hand thorugh her hair. "You can't be sure of that", she said quietly.

"Palacios is director now, they said it on the news", said Saray, trying to meet Zulema's gaze. "He won't let things like that happen."

When Zulema refused to meet her eyes, Saray leaned forward and took both of the brunette's hands into hers. "I love you, Zule, you know that. You are my fucking sister; I would never leave you if it weren't for my daughter."

Zulema felt her chest tighten. "I know", she said. Finally, their eyes met. "I know. I… I do understand you. And I fucking love you too."

Without hesitating, Saray leaned forward and pulled Zulema into a tight hug. Zulema let her eyes fall close while wrapping her arms around the other woman as well. She was fearing for the safety of Saray's daughter, of course. But she also didn't quite like the idea of letting the other woman get herself chained up again. She _was_ her sister, and she would rather have her by her side, like she had nearly always been. But Saray did have a daughter now, and Zulema could fully well understand that she wouldn't want her growing up without her. Like Fátima had. A tear escaped out of the corner of Zulema's eye and ran down her cheek. Yes. What Saray was doing was right.

After a few more seconds, they parted. Looking each other in the face, Saray let out a small laugh. "Don't tell me you're crying", she said.

Zulema hastily wiped the tears away from her cheeks. "No, it's some allergy."

Saray let out another laugh and Zulema shakingly chuckled as well.

"It's the right decision, Saray", said Macarena. Saray threw her a short glance, then she short-handedly stood up and embraced the blonde as well.

"Watch out for that _hija de puta_ on my part, alright?", said Saray, nodding towards Zulema.

Macarena let out a laugh. "Sure."

Zulema stood up now as well. She took a deep breath. When the two women in front of her parted, she interlocked gazes with Saray again. "I will miss you, _gitana._ "

Saray nodded. "And I will miss you."

There was a short silence, then Saray shrugged. "I guess I should go get my stuff."

Zulema nodded. When the _gitana_ disappeared inside the trailer, she felt something inside of her drop. She would miss her, indeed.

"You alright?", asked Macarena. Her hand gently brushed against Zulema's hip.

"Yeah", said Zulema. "Just got to come to terms with the fact that it's gonna be just the two of us now."

Macarena flashed her a small smile. "Right", she said. "Your worst case scenario, isn't it?"

Zulema took a faltering breath. It might have been her worst case scenario, once upon a time. But now, things were different; and strangely, the thought of having Macarena around her all the time didn't make her feel too annoyed anymore. It was in any case better than being all on herself, that was for sure, even if she had thought very differently about it just a mere week ago.

"It could be worse, actually", she said, glancing at the blonde from the side.

Macarena's smile widened. Barely noticable, but Zulema saw it. "Was that your try at being nice?", asked the blonde while turning around to face Zulema directly.

Zulema crossed her arms in front of her chest and took a step closer towards Macarena. "I won't try anymore if you keep dwelling on it."

Macarena let out a small laugh. "Fine", she said, her eyes finding Zulema's easily. Their gazes interlocked and Zulema found herself unable to turn away from the blonde. Even when Macarena took a step herself, closing the remaining distance between them, Zulema did not break the eye-contact, nor did she back away. She didn't feel threatened by the closeness, not anymore. Not when it was Macarenas closeness. She didn't know when or why exactly it had come to this, but it was just how it was.

And slowly, she felt the fear of the emotions responsible for that particular feelings decline as well. Because she finally started to let herself feel things – and it felt good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's just the two of them now... ;)  
> I'm thinking of the next chapter as the last one for this fanfic, maybe I'm going to write a sequel to it but I'm not sure about that yet. I have also wanted to write an alternative ending to El Oasis ever since the last episode aired, so maybe I'll do that first.  
> What would you prefer? :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is; the last chapter. First of all, I want to thank all of you for reading this fic and for continiously giving me such kind and motivating feedback, it made me so incredibly happy that you feel just as passionate about this story as I do! I'm still not sure what I'm going to write next, but rest assured that sooner or later, I will post either a sequel to this story or something else, so stay tuned ;)   
> And now; ENJOY THE LAST CHAPTER!

They had started driving to another place yet again; after Saray had left, they had taken a quick look at their map and decided to settle close to a small lake that was located in a remote area, according to the map.

The drive was mostly quiet; Macarena only seldomly asked which street to take or which way they had to take at a crossroad, and Zulema answered monosyllabically.

Macarena let her be. She knew that Saray's descision to leave was a hard pill to swallow for Zulema, and she also knew that the brunette needed some time to deal with this on her own. So she didn't say anything when Zulema snapped at her that she should have taken a turn the corner before, even though she had previously said that they would not need to take that road. Neither did the blonde comment on the curses the brunette let out whenever Macarena asked to take a look at the card herself because they had clearly taken a wrong turn. She knew when not to push Zulema. Because most of the time, it would result in pushing her over the edge; and that wouldn't be helpful for either of them.

They continued driving like this for around two hours until the spaces between the houses on the side of the road got bigger and bigger up to a point when there were no houses seen anymore. Then, they finally turned into a small dirt-roat, followed it until the very end and finally reached the lake.

It was the most beautiful place they had been to yet; it was already afternoon and the low-standing sun mirrored itself on the glistening surface of the lake that seemed to be made out of a thousand pieces of glass, meshing like pieces of a puzzle.

Macarena turned off the engine and let out a sigh. Zulema turned her head towards her.

"What?", she asked, her voice ironic but at the same time bitter. "Decided that you want to leave me as well?"

Macarena turned to face the brunette as well. Zulema was wearing a small smirk, but it was more sad than provoking. Which was uncommon for Zulema, to say the least. It hurt Macarena. It hurt her to see the other woman like this; disguising her fears by sarcasm. Because Macarena knew that that was what Zulema feared; being alone. She may have said that she would want them all to seperate, but that would have been her choice. While other people leaving _her_ , on the other hand, wasn't. And overall, this only went to show the brunette's most distinct fear; losing control. A fear that Macarena wished she could take away from Zulema, because it really wasn't worth all the distress it caused her.

"No", Macarena said, her expression sincere. Becasue she really didn't want to leave the brunette. She never would have thought that it would come to this, but it was just what she was feeling; wanting to be with Zulema.

The brunette let her head fall against the head-rest, still looking at Macarena. "We just won't ever get rid of each other, will we?"

That put a small smile on Macarena's face. "I guess we won't."

Zulema let out a sigh and slid down her seat until her back was just barely touching the back of her seat, her eyes directed at the lake in front of them. "I don't really know how to feel about that", she said.

"Yeah. Neither do I", said Macarena.

Zulema kept on looking at the lake, it's uncountable colours reflecting itself in her iris. Then, all out of the sudden, she shot upright, looking at Macarena with the lake's sparkle even more visible in her eyes now. Or maybe it were just her eyes themselves that were so incredibly mesmerizing. "Wanna go for a swim?", she asked with a smile that was electrifying.

Macarena wasn't sure if she had understood the brunette correctly. "Do I… What?"

But she didn't get an answer; Zulema was already jumping out of the car, pulling her sweater over her head and casting off her shoes. A moment later, she was already jogging towards the water and shortly after standing knee-deep in the lake, soft waves tingling around her legs. She turned around, gesticulating towards Macarena. "Come on", she yelled. Her face was still lit up by that same smile. And that was enough for Macarena to do what the brunette was asking of her.

She wriggled herself out of her own sweater and got out of the car as well. By the time she had her shoes off and turned to walk towards the lake, Zulema was already hip-deep in the water, waiting for Macarena.

"Scared because there is no life-guard in sight?", the brunette asked with a mocking grin.

Macarena huffed. Her feet were already in the water. "Living with you should require a live-guard, why should I need one when going swimming?"

Zulema let out a laugh, then she let her body fall backwards, splashing up water in the process and vanishing under the surface for a moment. By the time she emerged again, Macarena was only a few meter away from her and after two more strides stood beside Zulema.

The brunette's chest was heaving slightly due to the lack of oxygen, and in her lashes were small droplets of water, shaking at the edge each time Zulema blinked. The sun was shining at her from behind, creating an almost angelic aura around her. To top all of this, a smile spread on the brunette's face. She looked like a goddess.

"I needed this", Zulema said, her voice breathy.

Macarena needed antother moment to take her gaze from Zulema's body and focus her mind on the conversation. "I… didn't, but it's nice nevertheless."

Zulema let out another laugh and Macarena once again fround herself at a loss for words regarding the change of moods this woman could pull through within mere minutes. Still chuckling, the brunette turned to face the sun, shielding her eyes from the blinding light. She sighed, a small smile still painted on her lips.

"Is this freedom?", she asked.

Macarena turned towards the beaming sun as well. The water was reaching both their waists and quietly rippled against their bodies. "Yes", she said simply. She had asked herself that same question so often those past few days, but now seemed to be the only adequate moment to truthfully answer it.

Zulema turned her head to look at her. "How do you know?"

Macarena let her hand slide through the water, forming a crescent around them. "It's the air we're breathing", she said. "It smells like freedom, doesn't it?"

Zulema looked at her with a sly smile. "That's some poetic shit, now", she said. She catched Macarena's hand in mid-movement, causing the blonde to look up to her. "But I like poetic shit", continued the brunette with that same smile.

Macarena could do nothing to prevent the following; before her mind could even catch up, their body's were crashing together, as were there lips. It was like they were two magnets; repelling at times, but attracting all the same.

Zulema pulled the blonde even closer, wrapping one leg around Macarenas legs and practically clinging herself to Macarena. The blonde let Zulema take the lead and just followed her movements with her own body, slinging one arm around the brunette's waist and pulling Zulema up until the brunette had both her legs clasped around Macarena's hip.

The water around them was cold, but their bodies were radiating such a heat that Macarena didn't feel cold anymore in the slightest.

Between two kisses, Zulema took a short moment to breathe properly. Her forehead came to rest on Macarena's.

"I think the same", breathed the brunette.

"Regarding what?", asked Macarena, a little bit out of breath as well.

Zulema took another breath, her eyes finding Macarena's easily. "Freedom", she said. Then, she leaned forward again, kissing the blonde so softly and forcefully at the same time that Macarena could barely put the sensations running through her body into words.

Yes. This must truly be freedom.

They kept on kissing and tumbling around in the water until the sun went down. It was a beautiful sunset and after they had grabbed some towels, they sat down outside of their trailer again, leaning against the side of it and watching the sun vanish behind the trees, the last reys weakly illuminated the lake.

"I never thought I would ever be able to experience something like this", said Zulema after they had sat in silence quite some time.

"Witnessing a beautiful sunset?", Macarena asked, turning to look at the brunette.

Zulema shook her head, her eyes shifting from the lake towards Macarena. "No", she said. Then, after a short pause; "Happiness."

Macarena felt her throat tighten, emotions strangling her from within. Because she knew that such an admission was far from common for Zulema. "You really are?", asked the blonde. "Happy, I mean?"

Zulema swallowed and did a notion between a shrug and a nod. "I guess so", she said. She continued nodding, her eyes still directed at Macarena. "Yeah. Yeah, I am." She paused for a moment, then she continued a bit more quietly; "Thanks to you, I guess."

A sob broke through Macarena's chest and made her smile a bit shaky. Zulema let her head fall against the trailer and looked almost accusingly at the blonde. "Shut up, there's no need to cry."

Macarena let out a small laugh. "No, I know, I'm sorry. It's just…" She took a faltering breath, struggling to find the right words. "I guess I'm just emotionally… overwhelmed right now."

Zulema let out a snort. "Because of what?", she asked.

Macarena released a short breath, still looking at Zulema and not once taking her gaze away from the brunette. "Because of you."

It was a bold statement to make, espescially in Zulema's presence, Macarena knew that; she nearly expected some mocking come-back from the brunette, but it came none. Zulema just kept on looking at Macarena just like the blonde was looking at her.

"Because of me?", she asked, almost as if she were questioning the blonde's honesty.

Macarena let out a small laugh. "Yeah. But just… nevermind, I guess. I should keep my mouth shut." She made a move to push herself off the ground, but a firm grip on her upper arm stopped her. The blonde turned her head towards Zulema again, finding the brunette staring at her with such an intensity that it took Macarena's breath away for a second.

"That's not what I meant", said Zulema. "I just don't understand…"

Macarena silenced her with a small kiss right on the lips, leaning over to the brunette and placing one hand on the back of her head.

"I'm emotionally overwhelemed", said Macarena while leaning back a bit to look right into Zulema's eyes again. "Because of you. Because of _this._ Because I can't do something like this without having emotions involved, I'm sorry." Her heart was beating wildly in her chest and she was sure the brunette must hear it, but at this point, she didn't care anymore.

Zulema took a breath that made the skin on Macarena's face tingle. "Don't be", said the brunette, her voice a rough whisper. "I guess, I'm… not that good in controlling my emotions anymore, either. Or controlling anything, as a matter of fact."

There it was again. That need for control. Macarena slightly shook her head. "You want to be free, don't you?"

A curt nod from Zulema answered her question.

"Then you have to give up that need for control, Zulema. Otherwise, you'll never be truly free."

Zulema squirmed, but Macarena kept her hand buried in the brunette's hair, holding her head in place. When their gazes met, Zulema's looked pained.

"Don't you think I know that?", she said, the words coming out slighly shakingly. "I just… I _can't_."

"Yes, you can", said Macarena, her voice toned down to a whisper now as well. "I know you can."

A tear leaked out of the corner of the brunette's eye and ran down her cheek. Macarena's hand flung out and stopped it before it could fall to the ground, wiping it away and softly tracing the brunette's cheekbones in the process.

"You should know me better than to have expectations that high in me", said Zulema with a pressed voice.

"No", whispered Macarena, her fingers resting on the brunette's jaw by now and catching yet another tear. "I have expectations that high in you _because_ I know you."

Zulema's breath catched in her throat. Her eyes were shining so brightly that Macarena wouldn't have been surprised if pure light had come out of them. "Nobody ever said something so kitchy, yet so… oddly kind to me", said Zulema.

A small smile crept on Macarena's lips. "I guess we'll spend quite a lot of time together from now on, so you better get used to stuff like that."

Zulema let out a half-hearted snort and took hold of Macarena's hand to lead it away from her face. "If you're starting like this already, I'm fearing what else there is to come."

The smile on Macarena's lips widened into a grin. "I don't know; maybe things like: 'Your eyes are the most beautiful things I've ever seen'?"

Zulema closed her eyes and put a hand on the blonde's chest to push her away from her. "No, stop it."

"'I would rather look at you than watch a movie'?"

" _Rubia,_ I swear, shut up!"

Macarena chuckled and Zulema's lips involuntarily formed a small smirk as well.

They would never be a normal couple, they knew that, nor anything even close to it. They were something different. What connected them was something deeper, something more special, a bond formed under the hardest circumstances one could imagine and balanced on a line as slim as a rope. But here they were, together at last.

_Destinies interwined,_ as Altagracia had once said.

And their destinies were just beginning to unfold, forging a path out of their old lives into new ones. Together.


End file.
